Paved Paradise
by She'sAShipper
Summary: COMPLETE! Lorelai faces the bleakest time of her life and for once she cannot turned to Luke. Meanwhile, Rory takes Jess up on his offer to be there for her. Is he equal to the task?
1. The Hosptial A

Paved Paradise

By: LadyCommish

Disclaimer:  I don't own the lyrics to Big Yellow Taxi or the characters in this story.  If there is an original character I own them

_Don't it always seem to go_

_That you don't know what you've got till it's gone_

_They paved paradise and put up a parking lot_

"Dragonfly Inn, Michel speaking," the haughty French concierge said into the phone.

"Micel, get me Lorelai," Luke instructed in a no nonsense tone.  Michel was always playing games with him on the phone.

"Lorelai is busy.  Can I help you with something?" Michel asked, "If  it's is for a reservation we are completely booked the next six weekends.

"Michel, it's Luke Danes.  One of your investors, Lorelai's fiancé…just get her, I don't have time for this," Luke grumbled.

 "I cannot.  Lorelai is not here," Michel answered losing his high faultin' attitude.  Luke was not very friendly angry. 

"Well, where is she?" Luke pressed.  Michel was not a very helpful employee.

"She didn't say where she was going, only that she didn't think she'd be back today," Michel replied.

"Thanks, Michel," Luke mumbled before hanging up the receiver on the obnoxious Frenchmen.

Luke was nervous.  He was very nervous in fact.  For the last few hours his stomach had been in knots, doing somersaults, and doing whatever other clichés stomachs did when one was unsettled.  He didn't know why he felt as he did, he only knew that it had something to do with Lorelai.

Whatever it was, it couldn't be that bad.  Could it?  Lorelai would have called him if it was something really serious.  Perhaps, he was just overreacting.  He did that a lot where she was concerned, he worried about her constantly.  He loved her that much.  So much it often consumed his reasonable thought.

Just then, Babette bustled into Luke's Diner, "All right, Sweetie.  You can go now if you want too.  I'll finish up here and close the diner for you.  Go be with your Sweetie Pie."

"Huh?"  Luke looked at Babette as if she were crazier than she usually was.  This was strange even for her.  "Babette, I'm not going anywhere.  Where would I be going?"  Luke was really confused.

"Luke Danes, I can't believe you," Miss Patty scolded coming in the diner, "You should be with her.  Lorelai needs you.  I couldn't believe it when Kirk told me you were open."

"Maybe that's because I have no clue what either one of you are talking about.  What happened?  What's wrong with Lorelai?" Luke asked before Babette or Miss Patty could continue their rants.

"Oh, you don't know?" Babette was now the one confused, "I'm sorry, sugar, I should have told  you, I thought she would have called you, oh well, you know now so go on."

"I don't know anything yet.  What's going on?" Luke was growing impatient. "Babette?  Patty?  Someone tell me what this is all about."

"Lorelai's parents were in a bad car accident," Patty told him.  "They were both rushed to St. Michael's Hospital in Hartford. I thought she would have called you."

Luke looked on stunned, "When did this happen?"

"A few hours ago, four at least," Babette answered, "I really can't believe that you didn't know."

"Neither can I," Luke thought, but he said, "Well, would you mind keeping an eye on things cause now that…I have to go to her.  You said St. Michael's right?"

Patty nodded and she and Babette watched Luke rush off to his truck, "That true love," Babette gushed to Patty, before she resumed Luke's former task of washing tables.

Lorelai paced the waiting room at St. Michael's Hospital.  She couldn't believe it.  In a flash her whole life had been turned inside out.  Her father was dead.  Her mother more than likely would follow; she was in critical condition and in surgery.  It didn't seem real.

"Lorelai!" Christopher called as he ran into the hospital with Rory, "Lorelai, what do you know?"

"Mom, how are they?" Rory asked trying to be brave for her mother.

"Rory, sit down, okay," Christopher told her, "Lor, you too. Let's talk." He was so calm, so warm, in this cold.  Lorelai unconsciously leaned toward that warmth.  Christopher embraced her, "Chris, Rory, um, my…Dad, uh, Grandpa, was um…he was killed in the accident."

Rory felt like she had been kicked in the stomach.  Grandpa died?  He was dead?  Killed?  She heard it but it was true…She didn't feel like crying, she thought she would, she felt like…she couldn't describe the feeling.

Lorelai pulled away from Christopher and hugged Rory, "You okay, Babe?" she asked devoid of emotion.

"Yeah, I'm a bit…I'm going to make a phone call," Rory pulled away and printed to the pay phones.  There was only one person she could count on at  a time like this…at least she hoped she could.  He'd told her she could.

Luke made the thirty minute drive to Hartford in fifteen minutes.  He was a bit troubled about why Lorelai didn't call him, but with all she had on mend he couldn't really fault her.  Could he?

Luke parked the truck in the hospital lot and followed the signs admitting and emergency.  Before he reached Lorelai, he almost literally ran into Christopher.

"Luke?" Christopher seemed surprised to see him, "What are you doing here?"

"I could ask you the same thing," came the reply.

"I came when Lorelai called.  I picked up Rory at school and came here," Christopher said, "Who called you?  Rory?"

Luke shook his head, "No, I heard around town.  Where's Lorelai?"

"She's over there, but I really wouldn't…"

Christopher never finished his sentence, Luke was all ready gone.

Jess Mariano heard his phone ringing through the apartment door.  He fought with his key and got to it before it stopped ringing, "Hello," he said breathless.  No one spoke, "Hello."

"Jess?" Rory finally spoke, "its Rory."

"I know who it is.  Is everything all right? Is Luke…"

"Luke's all right.  I'm all…no, I'm not all right.  Jess, you told me I could count on you," Rory reminded him.

"You said no," he reminded her in turn.

"I know, but I need you now.  Jess, please," she told him fighting tears.

"What is it, Rory?"  Jess asked. If someone hurt her…

"I need you to come to Stars Hollow.  I need…my Grandpa was killed and my Grandma might…and my Mom is really…please, Jess I really…

"Rory, you sit tight okay.  I'm packing some things and I'm on my way.  Let Luke know I'll be crashing at his place with him, okay?" Jess told her in calm voice.  She was relying on him.  This was his test and his last chance and he knew it.

"Okay," Rory agreed, "Jess, thank you."

But Jess was all ready gone from the line and on his way home; to Rory.

Rory headed back to Lorelai when in clicked.  Luke wasn't here.  Hadn't Lorelai called him?  If she had called him, he would have come. Rory made a mental not to check and headed back to her Mom.

                                                              End Part 1A


	2. The Hospital B

Luke saw Lorelai through the glass window of the surgical waiting room.  She was sitting elbows on knees, face in hands, she looked so small like that, so fragile.

"Luke?" Rory's voice came from behind him made him jump, "You are here."

Luke nodded, "Yeah, um, Patty and Babette told me…how are you doing?  Okay?" he asked giving her a quick one arm hug.

"Yeah, um, my Dad is here," Rory told Luke. She knew about the bad blood there.

"I know.  I saw him," Luke told her, "How's your Mom?"

"She's upset, but she's holding it together," Rory told him, "How was she when she called you?"

"She, uh, she didn't call me," Luke said, "I found out through the grapevine."

"Well, I'm sure she'll be glad you're here.  I think she's sort of in shock," Rory told Luke, "She could barely talk when she told us about Grandpa being gone."

Luke let out a long sigh and hugged Rory again, both arms this time, "I'm sorry, Ror…And your grandmother?"

She shook her head, "We don't know yet."

Luke and Rory hugged a few more minutes then Rory pulled away, "Come on.  I'm sure Mom will be glad to see you."

Lorelai sat on the couch waiting for Rory and Chris to come back. She absentmindedly turned her engagement ring around on her finger.  She felt  bad about not calling Luke, she really was, but if she saw Luke, her rock, her strength, she would fall apart.  She had to be strong for Rory and her mother if she made it.  She couldn't let herself fall apart.

The door opened and Lorelai looked up from her seat to see Luke and Rory come into the waiting room, "Lorelai," he said on a breath going to hold her to him, trying to be what she needed him to be, "I'm here now, it's going to be all right."

Lorelai let Luke hold her for a moment then pulled away, "Luke, you shouldn't be here," she said.

"Mom," Rory argued, "Luke came all the way here and you didn't even call him.  He wants to be here for you."

"Rory, it's okay," Luke said, "Lor, there's no place I'd rather be than right here with you.  The diner's covered, it's no problem," Luke assured her.

"Luke, I'm glad you came, but I really don't…I have it all under control," Lorelai told him, "Go home and let Michel know I won't be at the inn for a few days."

Luke was confused.  She seemed happy he was there, but she was telling him to go.  She said she was in control, but she seemed upset and confused.  Luke pushed a littler harder, "I can call Michel from here.  I'm not leaving you here alone, Lorelai.  I can't do that."

Luke was not a man of words.  He was a man of actions.  He never said, "Happy Birthday" to Rory, he just made cake.  He never said, "I love you," he just touched and kissed and gifted with roses.  He never said, "Will you marry me?" he just left a ring on a saucer.  So for Luke to say in words he couldn't leave Lorelai alone had a lot more meaning in his case, for in Luke's case his words sometimes spoke louder than his actions.

"I'm not alone.  Rory's here and Christopher…" she told him.

"I'm not leaving," Luke reiterated, "Conversation over."

Lorelai wasn't one to be defeated, but right now she didn't have the desire or the energy to battle with Luke. She wanted him there, but she couldn't allow herself to lean on him.  She couldn't fall apart.

"Okay," Lorelai capitulated, "Get me some coffee, Burger Boy," she half smiled at the nickname she'd given him.

Luke left in search of coffee and Rory sat down next to Lorelai, "Why didn't you call him, Mom?"

"That's complicated, Rory. I don't want to get into it.  He's here now," Lorelai said almost relieved, "You didn't call him, did you?"

"No," Rory shook her head, "But I was surprised that you didn't."

Lorelai just sighed, "Who did you call?"

"Promise me you won't get mad," Rory said as preamble.

"All right," Lorelai agreed, "Who was it?  Dean?"

Rory shook her head, "No, Mom.  Dean and I are really over.  It was Jess."

"Jess," Lorelai repeated, "Jess Mariano?"

"Yes," Rory replied.

"Jess Mariano, as in Luke's nephew Jess, as in bad boy rebel Jess, as in unreliable heart breaker Jess?  That Jess?" Lorelai asked completely stunned at her daughter's choice of supporters.

"Yes, and I don't know why so don't ask me," Rory warned, "Last May after Liz's wedding, Jess came to see me and told me he wanted me to go away with him.  I said no, but he toldme I could count on him now.  I remember that today when you told me about…about Grandpa.  Something made me remember that," Rory explained, "He's on his way here as we speak."

"I hope he meant it, Sweets," Lorelai said flatly.  She knew somewhere deep inside Jess he had love for Rory.  If only she didn't see so much of Christopher on his surface.

Christopher returned with a few newspapers and magazines and Luke returned with coffee.  Lorelai drank it slowly as the clock ticked on without word on Emily.

Rory thumber through the newspapers and magazines Christopher had bough.  There were Cosmo and Glamour, Time and Newswekk, and Barrons.  Barrons, Grandpa loved that paper.

Rory felt her eyes tearing but before she could cry the doors opened anda tall doctor in surgical scrubs stepped out, "Lorelai Gilmore.  I'm looking for a Lorelai Gilmore."

Lorelai stood up, "I'm Lorelai Gilmore," she said stepping up to the doctor.  Luke and Christopher moved in behind her, but she waved them off.

"Miss Gilmore, follow me please," he instructed and she followed the doctor to the restricted area.

Dr. Salda took Lorelai into his office, "Sit down, Miss Gilmore," he told her, "I know you had a hard day.  I'm very sorry about your Father."

"Thank you, now let's cut to the chase.  How's my mother?" Lorelai asked pointedly.  These doctors were ridiculous.

"Miss Gilmore, your mother's injuries were very serious. We had to do surgery to remove her spleen and control the internal bleeding.  However, your Mother was too weak and her heart stopped on the table.  We used all our capabilities and tried to revive her for thirty-one minutes…"

"So she's dead," Lorelai finished, "Why did you bother with the whole speech if she's dead.  It doesn't mean anything anyway, why or how long…She's dead is all that matters the rest of that is just smoke filled coffee house crap," Lorelai shouted tears leaking out of her eyes.

"Can I ask someone to come in for you?" the doctor asked understanding her tirade.

Lorelai shook her head and took a deep breath, "No, I'm fine," she replied, "I have to tell my daughter now."

Meanwhile, Jess had arrived in Hartfod.  Rory had told him there was an accident but she never mentioned what hospital they were at.  He had to get that out of Caesar.  Jess looked around. Hartford was busy city like New York but friendlier, safer. He stopped someone, "Miss, St. Michael's Hospital?"

The lady pointed to the large building about ten blocks away, "It's there, with the red cross on it.  The number 12 goes there, but it's faster walking this time a day."

Jess thanked the woman and headed off in the hospital's direction in a sprint.  Rory was only ten blocks away and she needed him.  It still amazed him .  She had called him, not Dean, not Lane, him. Jess Mariano. Unreliable, untrustworthy, Jess Mariano.  He'd promised her six months ago she could count on him.  Now ti was time to prove it.

Lorelai made sure she was under control before she went out to the waiting room.  This was going to hit Rory hard.  She'd never lost anyone close to her before, except for a hamster.  Lorelai hadn't either come to think of it, she didn't know how to do this.

Luke took one look at Lorelai's face when she returned to the waiting area and went to her.  He knew Lorelai's brave look very well, he's seen it enough when she got back from a Friday night dinner. "Lorelai?" he asked softly, his voice so gently it threatened to shatter her resolve.

"Rory," she called out, "come here, Baby."

From Lorelai's tone Rory knew what had happened, she immediately ran to her mother and began to cry.  Luke moved to hold both of his girls, but Christopher was up and moving to them.  Lorelai opened her arm towards Christopher and Christopher, Lorelai, and Rory shared a family hug.

Luke stayed close, not intruding but par of him felt anger and jealousy.  Christopher was never around for Rory, he was.  Christopher was never Lorelai's supporter, he was.  He should be comforting them, not Christopher.  But, he was not family, yet, Christopher was.

That was the scene Jess walked in on.  Luke quietly brooding, looking on as Christopher, Lorelain and Rory hugged.

"Luke," he said flatly.

"Jess," Luke said surprised, "How?  Why?"

"Rory called.  She said she needed me to come I take it the news is not good," Jess said.

Jess' familiar voice penetrated Rory's grief clouded mind.  She pulled out of the hug, bringing it to the end and went to Jess, tears streaming down her cheeks.  Jess caught and held her tight to him, "I'm here, Rory," he whispered, "It's all right, I'm here."

Lorelai crossed over to Luke, who reached out for her hand, "Could you take Rory and Jess home for me?  I have some things to take care of here."

"Do you want me to stay with you?  Christopher could…"

Lorelai cut him off, "I'd rather you be with Rory and Jess.  I'm going to be fine.  Christopher is here with me.  Please Luke," she begged him with her eyes.

Luke nodded, "All right, I'll take them to your place.  See you when you get home," he said kissing hers lips lightly before turning to leave.  Jess collected Rory who was still sobbing against his chest and moved for the exit.  Lorelai called over her shoulder, "Luke, thank you for this.  You take care of her."

Luke nodded, "I will," he said, "Lor, I love you."

"I know," she nodded, stopping her tracks, "I love you too."

End Part 1 B


	3. Arrangements A

Paved Paradise

Lorelai didn't get home until early the next morning.  Christopher offered to go in with her but Lorelai refused when she saw Luke's truck in her driveway.

Lorelai kicked off her shoes, dropped her hand bag, and inhaled the wonderful aroma of Luke's coffee.

"Luke," Lorelai called out, "Luke, I'm here."

Luke, dressed in only his jeans, stepped out of the bathroom and went to Lorelai, taking her in his arms, "Where were you?  It's almost six."

"I know," Lorelai said against his shoulder, "I had some calls to make and we needed to wait for the bodies to be released."

Luke tightened his hold on Lorelai, "How you holding up, Honey?"

Lorelai pulled away, "Wow! You never called me honey before."

"Sure I did," said Luke, "not a lot, but I did at least once."

Lorelai shook her head, "Nope, you never called me Honey or Sweetie or anything but Lor or Lorelai," she continued, "Geez, if this is what it takes to get you to be sensitive."

"Lorelai, come sit down and I'll get you some coffee," Luke told her, trying to check his temper and understand Lorelai's vulnerability.

"I'm sorry," she said, "I'm just really screwed up right now and Christopher is coming back at noon to take me to the funeral place."

"It's all right," Luke replied, "I could take you to the funeral place.  Chris must have to get back to Sherri."

"They split," Lorelai told him as she accepted the travel mug of coffee, "She finally drove him crazy with her nagging," Lorelai took a long sip. Luke remained silent.

"Where's Rory and Jess?" Lorelai asked after a few minutes.

"Rory's asleep in her room and Jess is…"

"Right here," Jess grumbled wiping the sleep out of his eyes, "I'm up this early so I can open the diner for Luke," Jess replied to the unasked question.

"That's all right, Jess," Luke told him, "You stay with Rory, I got it."

Jess shook his head, "I talked to Rory about it.  She's going to help out with the lunch rush, by then you and Lorelai should be finished with what you have to do, then Rory and I can…"

"Jess," Luke interrupted, "Lorelai is going with Christopher to do the planning."

Jess raised an eyebrow at Luke, "Okay," he said, "but…"

The phone rang on the table and Jess made leap for it, "Gilmore residence."

"Hello, Luke? It's Sookie…"

"Um, hi, Sookie.  It's not Luke, its Jess," Jess said into the phone.

"Not funny, Luke," Sookie scolded, "I can't believe you'd be making up something like that at a time like this."

"Okay, I see we are still not the Queen of Normal here," Jess mumbled, then, Luke, "Luke!  Sookie."

Luke took the phone from Jess, "Hey, Sookie.  What's up?"

"That really was Jess," Sookie said surprised.

"Yes," Luke replied, "that really was Jess.  He came in last night.  What can I do for you?"

"I wanted to talk to Lorelai, see how she was doing.  I heard about her parents," Sookie told him.  Luke could be so protective at times.

"I'll see if she's up to it.  Hold on," Luke said putting the phone down and going to kneel in front of Lorelai, "Lor, its Sookie, Baby, you want to talk to her?"

Lorelai stood up and Luke rose with her, "Not right now, Luke," she spat out quickly before jetting upstairs.

"Um, Sookie," Luke said picking up the receiver, "She's not up to it right now. I'll tel her to call you later, okay?  Bye."

Luke hung up the phone and tried to follow Lorelai upstairs when the phone rang again, "Yeah," Luke barked into the phone.

"Luke, its Dean," the voice on the other end of the phone said.

"Dean, she's sleeping," Luke said flatly, not wanting to have to settle a Dean/Jess wrestle mania on top of everything else, "I'll tell her you called," Luke hung up and started up after Lorelai again, unplugging the phone as he went.

Meanwhile, Jess had gone to wake Rory before going to the diner.  He pulled the curtains open and raised the shade.

"Rise and shine, Ror…" he gently greeted, "It's six-thirty."

"That better be pm," she grumbled.

"Nope, am.  I got up early to help Luke at the diner.  I wanted to see if you needed me here though," Jess explained.  This felt awkward.

"If I say yes…"

"If you say yes, screw the diner, Luke can close for the day," Jess told her with firm gentleness.

"And if I say no…"

"If you say no, I'll do the breakfast rush; you help out with lunch like we talked about last night.  Then when Luke gets there I make us a couple of Jess burgers," he said.

Rory thought a moment, "In that case, go to Luke's, help out.  I want more sleep.  I'll meet you at the bridge at one, okay?  Then we can talk, we have to talk," she said snuggling down into the covers again.

Jess lowered the shade and quietly moved to leave the room, "Jess."

Rory's voice stopped him in his tracks, "Yeah," he replied.

"Thanks for letting me count of you," Rory murmured dozing off again.

"Now and forever," Jess whispered, "I promise."

Luke followed Lorelai up to the big bathroom and gently wrapped on the door, "Lorelai.  Lorelai, come on out and talk to me.  It's only me.  Just Luke."

"Go away, please," Lorelai told him, her voice very even, eerily calm.

"Lorelai, come on.  Open the door.  You've been through a lot, let's talk," Luke tried again.

There was silence on the other side of the door at first, the lock unlatched and the knob turned.  Luke opened his arms to receive Lorelai but instead she pushed him hard, out of the way.

"Lorelai…" Luke said, shocked.

"Luke, get out of here.  I need you to leave here," she told him.

"No," he replied, "Lor, I know this is hard and it's a shock, and I know you're trying to be strong and keep it together for Rory, but it's me."

"Luke, I all ready asked you once.  Please leave.  Go home.  Go to the diner, just leave me alone," Lorelai ordered.  "This is why I didn't call you!  Why I didn't call you when it happened!  You smother m, Big strong Luke to the rescue, the big hero, well I don't need to be rescued and I don't want a hero.  I want to be left alone!  Please!"

"Lorelai, I can't leave you alone.  You shouldn't do this all alone…"

"I won't be alone, Luke.  That's why I called Christopher so he could be here with me.  Luke, I really need for you to go," Lorelai said evenly.  She knew if she got angry at him lashed out, hurt him, he'd leave; go off to lick his wounds.  Then she could function, then she could hold on.

"Lor…"

She cut him off and covered her face with her hands, "Please, Luke.  Go home.  I don't need you here. I don't…I don't want you her right now.  Please go."

Finally, Luke gave up and went down the stairs and out the door.  His knees buckled as he sat down on the porch, head in his hands.

Jess heard the door slam and called out, "Luke!" When no one answered him, Jess headed for the porch where he found Luke sad and defeated.

"Luke," Jess said, "um, what's…why aren't you upstairs with Lorelai.  I said I'd help Caesar out today."

Luke shook his head, "She doesn't want me there, Jess.  She told me to go.  She says I smother her.  Of course I do, I love her. I'm going to marry her."

Jess listened to Luke's words.  He knew how attentive Luke was to Lorelai, he also recalled how stubborn and independent Lorelai could be, "Luke that woman is stubborn and strong and tough," Luke didn't let him finish, he shook his head.

"That's a public face, Jess. Lorelai's able to…she can let go with me."

"Exactly," Jess replied, "you let her lose her control. She can't do that right now."

"But she should.  She lost her parents, God, that hurts, and I know it hurts," Luke said with more emotion than Jess had ever seen from him, "But her not wanting me there hurts even worse."

"Well," Jess sighed, "You have two choices.  Go back to the diner with me, lick your wounds, like she expects and wait until she comes to you.  Or, you go back in there, tell her you get it, you understand and that when she needs you, you'll be there."

Luke smiled at Jess and gave him a quick hug, "When did you get so smart?" Luke asked.

"I read," Jess replied, "Go on.  Tell Rory I'll see her at one."

Luke nodded and went back up the porch into the house.

"I thought I told you to leave," Lorelai said sipping a fresh cup of coffee on the sofa.

"Yeah, I heard you, but I couldn't…Lorelai, put the mug down and listen to me, then I'll go," Luke told her, "I know what you're doing."

"Luke," she groaned but he continued, "Lorelai, you are so strong, you are always so in control and together, with your best foot forward, and I admire that.  But I also admire how you know you can let your guard down with me and you can now, Lor.  I've been there, it hurts, it really, really hurts.  I get that feeling," Luke paused, he was not used to heart to hearts, but with Lorelai it was right, "And I get that you feel you can't lose control now, that you're the reigning the Gilmore and I get you trust me enough to lose control.  So, I won't  push, but when you're ready I'll be here," he told her rising from the coffee table where he'd been sitting, "Resume coffee drinking."

Luke turned and headed in the directions of the kitchen, "Luke," Lorelai called out to him.  He paused and turned to face her, "I love you for getting me," Luke smiled and his eyes softened, "I love you for being you," he replied before going out to the kitchen.


	4. Arrangements B

Paved Paradise

"Your mother chose the metal casket for your grandmother years ago.  This on is lovely and can be used for both sexes, as the linings and the handles are interchangeable, so this one can be used for both your mother and your father."

Lorelai listened to the funeral director at Hartford East Memorial Home droan on and on about caskets, handles, plates, and insurance for the past two hours.  Christopher stayed by her side the whole time and listened to the information Mr. Roth, the funeral director was giving her.

"Lor," Christopher said, "These caskets are nice and reasonable."

"Yes, at three thousand ten dollars each, they are quite nice for their price.  For both, I'll naturally give you a deal, $5900 for the lot including the brass handles for your father and the rose etched brass one for your mother," Mr. Roth quoted.

Lorelai was sick of it all.  She wanted it over with.  Not just the arrangements, but everything the wakes, the funeral, everything, "All right," she agreed, finally, "Let's get this done."

Roth smiled dimly, "All right, Ms. Gilmore, let's go up to my office and sign the papers.  After that, I'll give you a list of funeral readings and hymns to choose from."

Lorelai nodded, "Um , Tom,is there…what about the eulogy?"

"Generally the eulogy is delivered by a family member, but sometimes it can be written and someone else can read it for you," Mr. Roth explained, "You can decide that and lt me know at the wake."

Lorelai nodded, "Thank you, Mr. Roth for the information."

"No problem, Ms. Gilmore.  If you'll just sign by the X and initial by the circle we can get this finished," Mr. Roth pushed two forms towards Lorelai.

"What are these pages, Mr. Roth?" Christopher asked for Lorelai as she started reading.

"The white one is to confirm the order for the caskets, lining, and handles.  The blue one is a promise that Ms. Gilmore will pay whatever Mr. and Mrs. Gilmore life insurance policies do not cover," the white haired man explained.

Lorelai scoffed at that, "My parent's policies will more than cover this."

"It's just a precaution," Mr. Roth replied, "The X and the circle."

Lorelai finished reading the contract and signed her name with a flourish of the pen.

"All right, Ms. Gilmore, Mr. Hayden," Mr. Roth said rising, "that'll just about do it.  We'll see you Thursday afternoon.  We aske the family to arrive about 1:30 pm. See you then."

Lorelai nodded and Chris shook the man's hand as he and Lorelai left the memorial home.

"You okay, Lor," Chris asked, a guiding hand at her back.

"Yeah, I'm good.  I'm just glad it's over, that guy was creepy," Lorelai gave a mock shiver.

"No one ever said funeral directors were normal people," Christopher commented then he sighed, "Lorelai, I need you to be serious for a minute, okay?"

"Chris, I'm really fine," Lorelai said, trying to avoid another emotional talk.

"I know that's not what I was going to ask you," Christopher sighed, "Lorelai, you're engaged to Luke, I know you're in love with him, so why am I here instead of him?"

Lorelai stopped walking and was silent for a moment; she didn't think Christopher would question her motives, "So you don't want to be here. You could have said something," she snapped.

"No, it's not that," he assured, "but it's a strange choice, Lor.  You didn't call him to the hospital; you don't want him involved in the arrangements.  I'm just curious as to why."

Lorelai was quiet again, she couldn't tell the truth, that she couldn't cry in front of him, "Because you're Rory's father, you knew Mom and Dad, we've got history."

"Okay," Chris replied, "good enough."

Back in Stars Hollow, on their favorite bridge, Rory waited for Jess.  She knew he'd ask he the question she'd been expecting, why him?

Rory heard footsteps approach the bridge and turned to offer Jess a greeting, "What are you doing here?" she asked when instead of seeing Jess, as she expected, she saw Dean.

"I saw you come out this way, Luke, wouldn't let me talk to you on the phone," he explained, "Why didn't you call me?"

"Because she called me," Jess replied, arriving at the bridge with two bags from Luke's.

"Rory?" Dean's tone held a lot of questions.

"Look," Jess said a bit defensively, "Rory called me because she chose to call me.  Why she did that is her business, not ours.  She's been through a difficult time and you and I doing our usual chest pounding macho man routine isn't going to help her, so let's act like two adults and let this end properly."

"Sure," Dean replied closing the space between Jess and himself, "get lost. Go back to New York or California, leave Rory to me."

Jess stepped back from Dean and looked at Rory who now sat on the bridge crying.  Jess ignored Dean and knelt beside Rory, "I'm sorry, Rory.  Here, eat your burger, calm down, and I'll finish this."

"Okay," Jess said to Dean, "Now your presence is upsetting Rory. She's all ready upset enough so you need to leave now."

"I want to hear that from her," Dean pointed at Rory.

Rory jumped from her perch on the bridge, "How dense are you?  Did you hear Jess?  I called him; I want to talk to him.  Go home, Dean.  Go back to Lindsey, leave me alone!"  Rory grew quiet after that outburst and sat down on the bridge, taking a huge bite of her burger.

"You heard it from her," Jess said and quietly, "Thank you for your concern.  See you," Jess sat down next to Rory then and began sharing her French fries ignoring Dean's presence and exit.

"Luke, Rory, I'm home," Lorelai called once Christopher dropped her off in front of the house. 

"I'm in here," Luke called from the kitchen, "Rory's out with Jess."

Lorelai followed Luke's voice to the kitchen, "Hey," she whispered, leaning up to give him a kiss, "What are you making?"

"Pecan pie," Luke replied, "and your favorite butter pecan ice cream."

"Okay," Lorelai sighed, "and this is without begging, what did I do to deserve that?"

Luke leaned over and kissed her lips lightly, "You've been you."

"Call me when that pie's ready I'm going to go and see what I have that is suitable for a funeral," Lorelai said quickly on her way up to the bedroom.

Luke leaned over and checked the pie, "Almost done," he said to himself then he heard Lorelai running down the steps, "Luke!   Luke!" she called her voice nearly frantic.

Luke was out to the living room in a flash, "Lorelai, what is it?  What's wrong?" he asked, wondering if the melt down he knew was coming had finally come.

"I have one black suit," she told him, holding the outfit, tears beginning to swim in her blue eyes.  "I have to go through two days of wakes and one long funeral, and I only have one black suit.  And that's a summer suit and it's October and I'll be freezing and shivering and that is so not proper…"

Luke gently took Lorelai by the arms, "Whoa, calm down, Lor. You have plenty of grey suits and a nice navy blue skirt that I love, by the way, you can wear those things."

"No," she shook her head, "I have to wear black suits.  My mother will come back and haunt me if I wear anything other than a stylish black suit to her wake and funeral, and I really don't want my mother haunting me for all eternity!" Lorelai's rant finally ended.

"Okay, so," Luke thought for a moment, "Why don't you and I, while the pie's cooling and the ice cream is freezing, hit the mall and find some seasonal, tasteful, stylish, black outfits."

Lorelai listened to Luke's' calm voice, his sensible suggestion, and stomped her foot on the floor, "Why are you doing this?"

"Doing what?" Luke asked, confused.

"Baking me pies, making me ice cream, giving me coffee, offering to take me shopping, why are you being so nice to me?  You are never nice to me," Lorelai ranted at Luke.

Luke's jaw dropped and his blue eyes grew bright.  Those words hurt him to the very core.  He understood Lorelai's armor was up but that was just too much, "Lorelai, I get that you are upset, but how can you say I'm never nice to you?  Am I that horrible to you?  Just because I don't give you coffee without arguing sometimes, and I get on you about eating junk food, does that make me that bad a person?  I don't want you to make yourself sick with that stuff, but I know you love it.  And today, I'm trying to do something that you love or even like, because I know how upset you are about losing your parents.  You don't want to show it to me or admit it to me, you don't even want to admit it to yourself, but I know you're hurt and I want to make it better.  This is the only way I know how to make it better!"

"You can't make it better, Luke!  You can't make it better!  There is nothing to fix, there is nothing that you can do to change what's happened.  I'd appreciate it if you were just sour surly Luke, who rolls his eyes at my coffee addiction and makes me beg for my burger and fries.  This nice act is really not making it any easier," Lorelai told him.

Luke nodded, "Okay, but I all ready made the pie and the mall offer…so…"

"Okay, when the pie's done, we'll go look for black suits and you can bug me about how much everything costs," Lorelai agreed.

Luke smiled and kissed her cheek quickly, "Good deal."

Back at the bridge, Rory and Jess were finishing up their burgers.  Jess was ill at ease and Rory could tell he had something he wanted to say to her, "So spill it," she said, "What's on your mind?"

"What makes you think there is anything on my mind?" Jess asked, toying with his zipper.

"Because you are playing with your clothing and you are not the clothing player type, so what's bugging you?" Rory asked.

"Nothing really, Rory, it's just…I'm going to get kind of mushy here for a minute, document this moment, it does not come around very often, but…" Jess sighed, "But I just wanted to say, I'm glad that you can, that you thought you could call me, that you knew I was telling the truth last summer when I told you could count on me now.  I'm so glad that you want me to be here for you, I'm just sorry that it took something like this for you to realize it."  Jess studied the pond.

Rory reached out her hand and lifted Jess' chin, gently turning his neck so that their eyes met, "Jess, this is the hardest thing I've ever done, and there is no one I'd rather have at my side then you.  I'm just sorry we lost so much time.  I want…I want us to start over, to start new…but I want us to do it in Stars Hollow. That's what freaked me out last May, not leaving with you, it was leaving," she explained.

"Rory, I bailed on you, twice," Jess confessed, "but I never stopped lov…"

Jess didn't get a chance to finish his sentence.  Rory's lips were on his, gently parting them with her tongue.  It was a reunion for them.  They'd been rejoined by the tragedies in Rory's life, but they were never reunited until this kiss.

"Wow," Jess gasped, "You really learned a few things from me, huh?"

"I am a quicker learner," Rory quipped, leaning her head against Jess' shoulder, "Jess?"

"Huh?" he answered.

"It hurts, you know?" she told him on a sigh.

Jess lifted his arm and cradled her head next to his chest, "I know it does.  You loved your grandparents and they are gone now.  But I'm here, and I'll always be here. I promise you that.  I love you, Rory."

Rory rubbed her cheek against Jess' shirt and whispered, "I love you too."

They sat there a moment, holding each other, listening to the breeze, then Rory spoke again, "Jess?"

"Yes, Rory," he replied.

"Come with me, to the funerals?" she requested not looking at him, just holding on to him.

"Of course, I will, Rory," he replied dropping a kiss on her head, "You didn't even need to ask."


	5. Wake A

Jess stood shaving in front of the shared bathroom mirror when Luke came up from the diner Thursday in the early afternoon.  "About time you got up here," Jess commented, "we have to be at Lorelai and Rory's by one."

"Um, Lorelai doesn't want me to drive over with her," Luke told him, "She wasnts me to come later with Sookie and Jackson."

"It'll blow over, you know," Jess assured him.  He could tell Luke was hurt by Lorelai's request.

Luke sighed, "I know.  I really thought yesterday was the day, but nothing.  How about Rory?  I haven't really talked to her at all."

"She's dealing with it better than Lorelai, I'd say.  She's cried a bit, we talked about her grandparents.  I helped her write the eulogy for Mr. Gilmore last night," Jess updated.

"Rory and Lorelai really switched role here, hmm?" Luke observed.

"Definitely a freaky Friday moment," Jess agreed, "but I think this is Lorelai's weird attempt to protect Rory."

Luke shrugged and altered to subject a bit, "So you and Rory, huh?  Where does that stand?"

Jess wiped his chin with a towel, "No where.  I'm not putting any eggs in the basket until things settle down for her.  I'm just glad she called me."

Luke removed his shirt and moved to reapply his deodorant, "Me too.  I'm glad you had your act together enough to be able to help her."

Jess paused in the act of exiting the bathroom and looked in Luke's eyes, "And I have you to thank for that," he said seriously.

Luke blushed, "Jess, you don't have to…"

"Yeah, I do," Jess interjected, "so let me say it.  Things like this make you sit up and take notice, how short like is and it makes you appreciate what you have.  If you hadn't thaken me in and seriously kicked my ass, I wouldn't have made anything of myself. So, I know I was a pain in the ass, but thank you, Uncle Luke."

Luke stared at Jess dumbfounded.  He knew Jess appreciated it, but the way he vocalized  it was so mature and heartfelt.  Jess really had grown up.  Luke reached over and embraced Jess in a manly hug, "I owe you a little bit too.  That tie did the trick."

Jess laughed and busied himself with putting on his shoes, "Say Uncle Luke, you need any extra worked downstairs," Jess asked.

"Um, not really. I've got Caesar and Lane, why someboday need work?" Luke replied.

"Well, I was thinking of maybe moving back here going to the community college.  Jess told him, "and I'll need a job to help for it."

"You want to go to college?" Luke replied, "Did you finish…"

"Got my diploma at Adult School," Jess answered, "But the tuition is $4500 a term."

Luke shook his head, "Jess, if you want to go to school, the money's yours.  But you have to go to school, Jess."

"Luke, I want to do this," Jess assured him, "bit I don't want a freebie."

"We'll work it out, "Luke told him, tying his tie, "now you better get over to Lorelai's."

Lorelai answered the door when Jess knocked some minutes later.  Rory was in her room and called out, "That better be a stocking or panty hose salesman."

"Hi, Jess," Lorelai greeted then called over her shoulder, "No such luck.  It's only Jess."

"Should I ask?" Jess inquired raising one eyebrow.

"I wouldn't," Lorelai advised, "Come on in."

Jess went inside and leaned over to give Lorelai an awkward hug, "I'm really sorry about your parent.  I don't know if I said that."

"Thank you, Jess," Lorelai replied, "and thank you for taking care of Rory."

"I promised her she could count on me," Jess said, "and these days I'm keeping my promises."

Lorelai nodded and shut the front door just as Rory came out of her room dressed in her funeral dress, basic black but long and modest, not short and sexy.

"Hi, Jess," she greeted with a half smile.

"Hey, you look pretty," he complimented.

"So do you, I mean, I've never seen you in a tie before."

Jess shrugged, "Yeah, well it seemed appropriated."

Lorelai went to get her purse, leaving Rory and Jess alone for a few moments, "Where's Luke?" Rory asked.

"At the apartment.  Your mom didn't want him going over with us," Jess explained.

"I don't understand her.  I know she loves Luke," Rory declared, "I don't know why she's pushing him away."

Jess put his arms around Rory and held her to him, "For the same reason you're pulling me in," he replied, "it's the way in which you manage grief.  And that can't be criticized."

Rory nodded, "I just know how much better I feel with you her to hold me," she whispered against Jess' chest.

Gently he stroked her hair, "Rory, your mom will open up to Luke and when she's ready he'll be waiting."

"Luke's a good man," Rory stated.

"I know, he's become my guidepost in a lot of way," Jess confided pulling back from Rory so he could see her eyes, "I want to be more like him I've decided to move back to Stars Hollow go to college, and make something of myself," Jess told her.

Rory couldn't help but smile, "Jess, that's terrific.  I know you'd come to your senses. You'd be so great at college."

"I'm glad you're happy about it, Rory.  It's good to see you smile." He leaned over to kiss her.

Lorelai rejoined them just as the kiss broke, "Everybody ready?"

"As ready as I'll get I suppose," Rory replied, "Do you want Jess to drive?"

"No, I'm fine," Lorelai replied, taking her keys and heading for the Jeep.

Christopher was all ready in the parking lot when Lorelai pulled up with Rory and Jess. He greeted her with a quick hug and peck on the cheek.  He did the same with Rory and shook Jess' hand.

They walked into the funeral home.  Lorelai first, Christopher directly behind her, with Rory and Jess brought up the war.

Jess knew Rory never had the experience of losing someone close to her, and he wanted to prepare her for the mental shock of seeing her grandparents in caskets. He pulled her arm to halt her, "Rory before you go in there, I just want to prepare you," Jess began, "this experience will be unlike any other you've had so far.  It's going to seem real and unreal all together, and it's going to be eerily quiet."

Rory nodded, "Jess, I've been to wakes before."

Jess shook his head, "Not someone close like this you haven't," Jess replied, "It's very different, but I'm here.  You ready?"

Rory nodded and Jess let her go into the hugs funeral room.  He hovered just behind her.

Lorelai had all ready said her prayer and now sat on the settee in the front of the room.  Christopher sat just behind her in the first row of mustard colored chairs.  Lorelai hadn't reacted at all to the sight, she just numbly moved away.

Rory approached the caskets steadily; shoulders squared head held high Jess was not even a foot behind her, quietly prepared.

Rory knelt on the kneeler, and then rose quickly studying her grandparents.  They looked asleep, the looked at peace, yet they were eerily still.  She examined her grandmother, hair and make-up still perfect, nails still unchipped. Then she studied her grandfather.  He still had such presence.  She'd miss him.

Lorelai, Chris and Jess watched Rory like she was a ticking bomb.  One's reactions to this sight were typically very violent when they came, each wanted to be prepared.

Jess noticed it first, the slight quake in Rory's hand as she raised it to her mouth.  Lorelai was next, when Rory's shoulder slumped and her knees collapsed.  It finally hit Christopher when Rory hit the floor.

Jess joined her down there immediately, wrapping his entire body around her quaking form, pulling her close to him, "Ssh, it's okay, Baby," he crooned, "It's okay."

Lorelai knelt with Jess and stroked her daughter's arm, "Let it out, Rory," she told her, "It's okay.  They're at peace and they're together."

The ringing of a bell signified it was two o'clock and other mourners would be arriving, Jess shifted Rory so he could left her off the floor and carried her to the settee where he sat holding her on his lap.

Luke was the first to arrive after the door opened and after a prayer of respect to Emily and Richard, he went to Lorelai, "Hey, Lor," he greeted kissing her lips lightly, "the flowers are beautiful."

"Yeah," she replied, "white roses are very appropriate for funerals."  It shocked her how much she'd sounded like Emily.

"Um, Sookie and Jackson are outside with Michel," Luke told her, "They'll probably be as many people from Stars Hollow from Hartford."

Lorelai shrugged, "Probably. Um, I have to speak to Tom about something," Lorelai said her voice growing thick, "Could you check on Rory? Seeing them in the…it shocked her.  I'll be right back."

"Sure," Luke said, "do what you need to do."

Lorelai nodded and hurried away.  What she needed to do was cry and she knew it.  She just couldn't allow it.  She had to be in control, emotionless.  Things had to be done correctly and emotion could never enter into one's social obligations.  Where had she heard that?  Her parents.  That was the easy question. The harder one was when had she started to believe it?

Luke sat down next to Rory, who'd moved off of Jess' lap and composed herself.  "Howy you doing, Kiddo?"

Rory sniffed, "All right.  I'm glad you're here.  So is Mom."

Luke quickly hugged Rory, "I know.  Uh, there's Miss Patty."

It started then, on after another groups of mourners came to pay their respects.  Miss Patty and Taylor, Sookie, Jackson and Michel, the Kims, Kirk, Bootsey, Andrew, numerous business associated of Richard's, and endless socialite friends on Emily's.  By the end of the night both Lorelai and Rory were ready to scream from hearing endless platitudes.  None of those things made it easier in fact; they made it harder to bear.  But such was the way of wakes.  It was only with Jess and Luke's silent support that they made it through the Thursday.  Nothing, however could prepare them for Friday.


	6. Wake B

A/N:  This will be the last installment of Paved Paradise until the week of July, 19th.  I will be vacationing with my family in Boston and Salem, MA.  I will be updating as soon as I get home.  Thank you for reading.

Luke and Jess arrived at the funeral home Friday evening only minutes after Lorelai and Rory. They wanted to get there early because both Luke and Jess knew that the final viewing tonight and the last goodbye tomorrow would be very hard on both of their girls.

Luke entered the quiet room to see Lorelai in quiet conversation with Lindsey and her mother. Jess, seeing this, immediately looked around for Rory, who was not in the viewing room.

Luke and Jess walked up to the side by side caskets, said their prayers of respect and joined Lorelai and Lindsay. Luke kissed Lorelai's cheek, "Hey, Sweetheart, I see Laura and Lindsay beat us."

"We can't stay very long," said Lindsay, "Dean just got done at work so..."

"Lorelai," Jess asked as soon as Lindsay mentioned Dean, "Where's Rory?"

"She, uh, went downstairs," Lorelai replied. Before she could finish her sentence, Jess headed after her.

Dean had moments before followed Rory to the lower level of the funeral home. He wanted to talk to her, apologize for the other day before Jess arrived.

"Hey," he greeted when Rory exited the bathroom, "How are you?"

"Fine," Rory replied, "What are you doing here?"

"I came, we came, to pay our respects to you and your Mom," Dean began, "but I wanted to apologize for the other day."

Rory sighed, "That's very considerate of you, Dean. Apology accepted."

"It's just you and I..."

"Don't make excuses, Dean," Rory told him, "What's done is done."

"Let me explain, Rory. Please," Dean requested, "I was a jerk, at least let me explain why."

Rory sighed and delicately sat down on the print sofa provided for smokers, "All right," she agreed, "but do it quickly."

Dean sat on the sofa next to Rory and ran a hand through his hair, "When I saw you and uh, him..."

"Jess," Rory corrected, 'His name is Jess."

"Jess," Dean repeated dumbly, "When I saw the two of you on the bridge, looking so cozy...I knew you were back with him and..."

Again, Rory cut him off, "Jess has grown up a lot since the last time I saw him after Liz's wedding. He's become more focused and..."

"You don't have to list his good points," Dean interjected, "unless you're trying to convince yourself."

"I am convinced that Jess..." Rory began but was silenced.

"I remember last May," Dean told her. "Do you remember last May? What happened between us? What we shared?"

"Of course, I remember," Rory replied, "I also remember it was a tragic mistake."

"How can you say that, Rory? We made love, and it was beautiful. It was us, you and me together. We were great together once, and we were great together that night." Dean was pleading with her now, "You gave yourself to me, Rory. You love me. Not hi...not Jess."

Jess stopped on the stairway when he heard Dean's voice. He seemed sorry for upsetting Rory on the bridge the other afternoon and Jess didnt' want to be jerky about Rory talking to Dean, that would be so...Dean. So he waited and was shocked by what he overheard.

"How can you say that, Rory? We made love, and it was beautiful. It was us, you and me together. We were great together once, and we were great together that night," Dean was saying to Rory in a pleading tone. Jess couldn't believe his ears. Dean and Rory, when Dean was married to Lindsay. He couldn't believe it. Nor could he believe the next part of the conversation.

"You gave yourself to me, Rory. You love me. Not hi...not Jess."

Jess held his breath and waited for Rory's reply. When he heard her answer, he felt like the knife that had pierced his heart when Dean spoke of their love making was brutally twisted, "It's true, Dean," Jess heard Rory reply, before he turned, and fled back up the steps, he just couldn't bear to hear anymore.

While Rory was occupied with Dean and seemingly, Jess, Lorelai greeted people on her own with Luke and Christopher at her side. She wished someone could feed her names for these faces. Some of them she knew but did not recall, some of them, she could not even recall meeting, and some of them, she knew and wished she'd never have to see ever again. Half the time the faces and the voices didn't even register in her head, they just mumbled meaningless platitudes. Some of the face registered however, and Lorelai would make small talk until they moved on. Still other, registered and Lorelai prayed to be able to crawl under a rock. No such luck there.

"Lorelai," a familiar voice greeted, "it's been a long time."

Lorelai's eyes moved to meet the face of Max Medina, "Max," she acknowledged, "Yes, it has."

"I'm very sorry for your loss," Max said, "You're parentswer good people."

Lorelai nodded and unconscioulsy brushed a hair out o fher eyes with er left hand. The glint of the diamond caught Max's eye.

"Ah, well, I see congratulations are in order along with condolensces," Max indicated her ring, "Who's the lucky guy?"

"Um, that," Lorelai said gripping Luke's hand, "Would be Luke Danes. Luke, you remember Max Medina?"

Luke nodded, and shook Max's hand, "Yes, nice of you to come. I'm sure Lorelai appreciates it."

Max pumped Luke's hand and sighed, "You're a lucky man, Mr. Danes. There's nobody like Lorelai," Max looked at her face and held her eyes with his, "Nobody."

Max moved away from the little cluster and looked about for Rory, who was still downstairs talking with Dean. Jess had come up the stairs and now sat on the sofa, alone in the back not having stayed to hear the rest of Rory's answer.

"It's true, Dean" Rory replied, "I did love you, but I don't think I was ever...in love with you."

"But we..."

"I know," said Rory, "but that's why it was so tragic. I cheated myself out of giving myself to someone I was in love with because my heart and head were screaming two different things."

"So, you're saying you're in love with Jess?" Dean asked studying the ground.

Rory nodded, "I think so."

"Then, there's no hope for us? No future?" Dean asked sadly.

Rory shook her head, "Not as anything more than friends. You have a life, Dean. You have Lindsay. Don't throw that away on chasing a dream."

"I can't acceoot that we'll never be together, Rory," Dean replied.

Rory rose from her seat on the sofa, and sighed deeply, "Then we have nothing more to talk about. I should get back to my Mom." With that, Rory headed upstairs leaving Dean staring after her.

Lorelai watched Max retreated towards the back of the room and saw that Jess had reappeared in the funeral parlor without Rory. He sat down on the sofa in the back corner alone, elbows on knees, head in hands. The classic depressed position. Loreali was about to call Luke's attention to it when she found herself face to face with Jason Styles.

"Lorelai," Jason greeted, "I'm so sorry."

"Luke," Lorelai said calmly, not meeting Jason's eyes, "Please remove him from my sight."

"Lorelai," Jason said, "I'm here to pay my re..."

"Luke, please," Lorelai repeated. Luke dropped her hand and reached for Jason's elbow, "Jason," he said evenly, "perhaps it would be best if you left." Luke pulled gently on his arm, but Jason shrugged out of his grip, "I'm not here to upset anyone..."

Luke sighed, "But yet, you are. Now, please..."

This time Jason let Luke lead him away. Jason was slimmy and shrewd, but he didn't seem harmful, "Look," Luke began, "Whether she'll show it or not, Lorelai's pretty upset by what happened, naturally. And the last time you and her father and mother had dealings, you were suing him and wreaking all sorts of havoc. I hope you understand, but I think seeing you is just too painful for her."

Jason nodded, "Let her know I'm sorry. About...well...everything."

"I will," Luke replied as Jason left. Then he returned to Lorelai.

Luke studied his fiancee as he walked back to her. Her eyes were dry, her make-up was perfect, every hair was in place. She wasn't emotional or reactionary in any way at all, instead she was stoic and collected. And he was worried.

Shortly after Jason left, Rory returned to the viewing room alone. She saw Jess sitting in the back of the room alone admist the mourners who were quickly milling about the room.

"Hey," she greeted, sitting down beside him, "Are you all right, Jess?"

Jess looked like he'd been hit with a baseball squarely between the eyes. He looked like he'd lost his best friend. He looked like someone had broken his heart.

Jess wanted to get angry at Rory, confront her with the new information, but this wasn't the time or place for such a discussion. It wasn't like she cheated on him, they weren't together then. In fact, they were barely together now. Jess knew he had to answer Rory's query, so he copped out, "I'm fine. I just have a headache."

Rory learned whiel she and Jess were dating that he and Luke suffered from chronic headaches, "Oh, poor baby," she comforted, kissing his temple, "want to go downstairs and lie down on the sofa?"

Jess shook his head, "No. I'll be fine," he replied. Then turned his gaze to study the doorway. Rory's eyes followed his and she visibly stiffened. Jess noted her reaction and asked, "Rory, who are those people?"

"Straub and Francine Hayden. My Dad's parents."

Lorelai smiled and nodded and shook hands as more people milled about the room. Group after group went by relatively unacknowleged until Luke heard Lorelai and Christopher gasp simultaneously, "Your parents. My parents."

"Hello, Lorelai," greeted Straub, "we've come to pay our respects to you and your girl."

"Yes," Francine added, "We are very sorry for your loss. Christopher, you're here?" Francine registered her son's presence.

"Of course, I am, Mother," Christopher replied, "It's Lorelai's parents. Rory's grandparents."

"Don't patronize us, Christopher," Straub scolded, "We know perfectly well that Richard and Emily were the girl's grandparents."

Luke wasn't sure who these people were. He heard Christopher say they wre his parents, Rory's paternal grandparents. They should be proud of her, as proud as Richard and Emily had been. Their aloofness towards her, calling her the "girl," irked him. Lorelai was battling, he could see that. He had to do something.

"Rory," he said without preamble, looking at Straub and Francine, "her name is Rory and I believe you are the Haydens, Christopher's parents. Luke Danes, Lorelai's fiancee." He extended his hand.

Straub shook the offered hand, "I'm Straub Hayden and my wife is Francine Hayden."

"Nice to meet you," Luke stated, "I wish it were under better circumstances, but still, I'm so glad that _Rory," _he emphasized her name, "still has a set of grandparents left. She's a really remarkable kid, but I'm sure you know that. I'm as proud of her as I would be if I were really her father, instead of her stepfather-to-be."

Straub looked uncomforable, Francine and Lorelai studied their shoes, and Christopher shifted his weight nervously from one leg to the other as Luke continued his digs at Straub. "It's such a wonderful thing seeing your child's child so successful and beautiful. I can't wait to experience it myself."

Straub missed Luke's point entirely, he thought this man was referring to Gigi, his legitimate granddaughter, his little princess, "Well, we don't know how successful she'll be, she's still a toddler, but she is very beautiful."

Christopher's face reddened at that as did Luke's. Luke could feel Lorelai's hand gripping his her entire arm trembling, "Dad, he was talking about Rory. My firstborn, who attends Yale."

Straub sighed, "Ah, yes. Well, Mr. Danes, I'll beg your pardon. Francine and I are not very well acquainted with Tory, seeing as it as he existence that kept our son from achieving his Princeton education."

"Dad," Christopher jumped, "Rory's birth had nothing to do with me not going to Princeton. I've explained that to you."

Francine bit her lip and Lorelai dug her nails into Luke's hand, this was not the time or place for this sort of scene.

"Ah, yes," Straub acknowledged, "you did that. But, if it's not the girl's fault, who's is it? Either her waste of a father, or her whore of a mother."

The words had barely hit the air before Straub's mouth was full of Luke's fist. Francing shrieked as he fell backwards under the force and Christopher grabbed Luke's shoulders to keep him from repeating the blow, "It's not worth it, Luke," he said, "It's not worth it."

Luke straightened up and looked at Straub who was rising and straightening his clothing,"Get out of here now," Luke hissed through clenched teeth, "Nobody speaks to her like that. Christopher, Mrs. Hayden, I'm sorry," Luke apologized.

Lorelai was still frozen in the same position. Luke gently put his arms around her and held her trembling body, "Sit down, Honey," he urged, pressing her into a chair, "Are you okay?" His eyes were filled with deep concern.

"I'm fine, Luke," Lorelai replied, pulling away from Luke's embrace to sit up on her own.

Rory and Jess watched the exchange occur between Luke, Lorelai, Christopher and the Haydens as Rory relayed to Jess her limited histoyr with her paternal grandparents.

"Wow!" Jess sighed, "I can't imagine your grandpa doing that."

"I know," Rory replied, "but even after everything that went down between grandpa and my mom, he still loved her and she was still his child. He protected her."

'Yeah, you know," Jess observed, "Your mom did really well for herself. She has her own inn, a great house, a great daughter..."

"Yeah, some people would resent me for being born, for messing up their lives. My dad's parents feel that way, but Grandma and Grandpa..." Rory's voice cracked, "After I met my dad's parents for the first time, I was feeling really bad and my grandma said no matter what upsets or disappointments wer discussed, I was neither and upset or a disappointment. I really needed to hear that."

Jess pushed his own hurt feelings aside when he saw Rory's eyes tearing up and moved to hold her. Before he was able to take her into his arms, they heard Francine shriek and turned to see that Luke had just laid Straub out with a solid punch to the mouth.

"Jess," Rory urged, "Go stop, Luke."

Jess hurried over to Luke, but Christopher was all ready holding him. Jess heard his uncle order the older nam from the premises before he turned to comfort a shaking Lorelai. Jess helped Christopher show his father the door, before returning to his uncle's side.

"Everyone okay?" Jess asked, seeing Lorelai pull away from Luke.

"Yeah, Jess, it's fine," Luke replied, "She's fine. I'm fine."

"How are you?" Lorelai asked. "You seemed upset before."

"I'm good," Jess replied, "it's nothing that can't wait. I better get back to Rory."

After the excitement died down, the rest of the evening went by smoothly. Finally, it was time to go home and prepare for the long day ahead.

Jess had wanted to talk to Rory, to ask her about her feelings for him and for Dean. He decided to wait. Today and tomorow were about Lorelai and Rory, and being there for them. Jess was sure of his feelings or his love for Rory, and he had to prove that by being there, by being selfless. Later, when she was calm and she didn't need him anymore, there would be time to be angry and hurt. There would be time for questions. When it was over, he would talk about their future. For now, he'd just be there for her and forget about himself. For now, when she needed him, he'd just simply love her as she once loved him, with no strings attached.


	7. Funeral

Saturday was usually the favorite day in the Gilmore house, but this Saturday was different. After this day, nothing would be the same and Lorelai and Rory knew it.  
  
Luke and Jess picked the girls up at nine and drove the half hour to the Hartford Memorial Home. Christopher met them in the parking lot before they entered. Tom Roth met Lorelai in the hallway as soon as they had all walked in the door.  
  
"Ms. Gilmore, just so I have this correct, the limo will consist of you, your daughter, Mr. Hayden, Mr. Danes, and Mr. Mariano?" The old gentleman asked referring to his papers.  
  
"Yes, then the cars can sort out their own order," Lorelai replied blankly, "The assignments will cause too much trouble."  
  
Mr. Roth nodded, "Yes, I've all but done away with that practice. We call out friends, extended family, immediate family and so on," he clarified, "A few more detail, once we get into the church, the processional hymn will be "Amazing Grace", the rest hymns are "Just a Closer Walk with Thee" and "Peace in the Valley", and the recessional hymn is "How Great Thou Art", correct?"  
  
Again Lorelai nodded and Mr. Roth continued, "Also, you've decided your daughter will eulogize your father and you will do so for your mother. Correct?"  
  
"Yeah, that about covers it. We only went over this six times in the last two days," Lorelai snapped.  
  
"Lorelai!" Luke said her name with a warning in his tone.  
  
"I'm sorry," Lorelai apologized, "Let's just get this over with." With that, she left the little groups in the vestibule.  
  
Rory looked at Jess who observed, "She's not going to make it through the funeral."  
  
Rory shook her head, "Yeah she will. She'll be fine. My Mom's pretty tough."  
  
"But even tough nuts crack under the right pressure," Jess replied, "Speaking of tough, how are you holding up, Sweetie?"  
  
"I'm good. I did enough crying," she said, with a small smile.  
  
"There's no such thing," Jess assured her, "You cry all you want. I'm here for you," he told her kissing her gently before taking her hand and leading her into the viewing room.  
  
Once again, it seems as many citizens of Stars Hollow arrived for the funeral as people from Hartford. They all sat quietly as the Reverend spoke a prayer and blessing over Emily and Richard before Mr. Roth directed friends and extended family to say their final goodbyes before heading to the church. When everyone left, Christopher, then Rory and Jess made their way up. Rory cried a bit as she placed a post of Fez in Richard's casket and her junior Deb pin in Emily's casket. Finally, when Jess, his arm securely around Rory, moved her away, Luke and Lorelai said their prayers and goodbyes. Luke watched Lorelai's face. It was stone, firmly set stone, not a hint of emotion showing. He knew Lorelai well. She was always emotional, excitable, this coldness and distance scared him.  
  
While Jess had to take Rory away, Lorelai moved away on her own and caught up with Rory, "You okay, Sweets?"  
  
"I'm okay," Rory replied, "How are you?" Rory was worried too.  
  
"Oh, fine," Lorelai answered, "Ready? Let's get going."  
  
The funeral procession took them to the church, where Lorelai and Rory sat in the first pew, Luke, Jess, and Christopher sat along side them.  
  
Rory's mind was racing, her heart pounding. She spoke in front of people all the time, but today she was scared. She was scared she would not make it through her speech. Before she knew it, she had worried away the first half of the sermon and the Reverend was calling her name. Jess squeezed her hand for support before she rose to speak.  
  
"Good morning," Rory greeted in a flat voice, "It was often a dream of mine to make a speech about my grandfather. However, all the times I've had that dream, it was never here, like this. In my dream, we were inside a fancy banquet hall, all dressed up, and Grandpa was being names Man of the Year or something of equal prestige, and while I was up at the podium talking he was out there, smiling," her voice cracked and she studied her paper. "But, I guess in a way, my dream is coming true, because I know Grandpa is here in spirit, listening and smiling, while I have this wonderful opportunity to share with all of you what a wonderful man my grandfather, Richard Gilmore, was."  
  
Rory took a deep breath and looked out at the full church. Her teary eyes locked with Jess' who gave her a smile of encouragement.  
  
"Many of you gathered here today knew Richard Gilmore, but in some way, that same number really did not know Richard Gilmore. Sure, you knew his name, his face, his brilliance and his drive, but you knew very little of the softer side of him, of the side that I knew, for I knew Richard Gilmore the man. There were a hundred little things, little quirks and idiosyncrasies that made him unique and special. It was an honor...th...that...I...knew him," Rory was beginning to cry and sob, her breath breaking up her sentences into choppy word clusters, "Mmm...o...on...ly regr..." She couldn't finish. She couldn't even breathe, the emotion of this final tribute too much for her to bear.  
  
Luke looked at Lorelai who was still stone faced. He looked back at Rory, when he felt Jess move away from him out of the pew.  
  
Most of the room gave a collective gasp when Jess moved to join Rory at the pulpit. He quickly hugged her, smoothed her hair, and guided her to the steps where Christopher met her and helped her to sit down in the pew. The rest of Richard's eulogy was read in Jess' steady, clear voice.  
  
"My only regret is that I didn't know him for very long. I only got to know my grandfather in the last four years or so although I knew of him before that time, our time together was limited. Those four years were the most precious times of my life. In that time, I learned so much from him and about him and I'd like to share a glimpse of that man now," Jess read from the paper he and Rory worked out.  
  
"I'd like to share a glimpse of the man who golfed with his granddaughter on Sunday mornings, a piece of the man who supported and encouraged her ridiculous dreams of touring Fez. I want you all to see the man who would take a Cosmo quiz to make his granddaughter happy on her birthday and the man who would share his coveted morning paper with her when she spent the night at his house.  
  
"I want you to understand the man who would defend his daughter against any enemy in spite of their misunderstandings, even when that enemy came in the shape of a friend. I want you to understand the man who would let his little girl sneak out a bedroom window to escape a boring blind date. I want you all to see the man behind the mask, the one who unconditionally love in the face of anger and upset, the one who christened his own beloved mother, Trix, just for fun, and the man who in spite of everything was proud of his family. That' the kind of man Richard Gilmore was, that's the kind of man we loved, and that's the kind of man we're all going to miss."  
  
Jess folded up the paper and silently moved back to the congregation. He slid in the first pew where Rory was sitting with a crumbled up tissue in her hand and silently took her into his arms. "Thank you," she whispered. In response, he kiss her hair.  
  
Lorelai was next. She rose to her full height, poised, confidant, no hint of emotion, the opposite of Rory's execution. In a clear voice, as clear as Jess' had been she began to speak, "I thought for days about what I was going to say when it finally came time to do this and funny until this actual moment I couldn't think of anything to say. Now, it seems only appropriate to quote a set of lyrics of a song that my mother and I both liked when I was younger. Joni Mitchell asked, "Don't it always seem to go that you don't know what you've got till it's gone?" No truer words were ever spoken," Lorelai paused and met Luke's gaze, she drew strength from its steadfastness, "My mother and I never saw eye to eye, in fact, I can hear her chastising me for quoting Joni Mitchell at a funeral. I think part of that never-ending conflict was because we were both strong opinionated women and those opinions often differed and differed radically. We argued often, sometime bitterly, but still Emily Gilmore was a woman worthy of respect.  
  
"I made many mistakes in my life, done things against my mother's plan for me, mostly because of my own stubborn pride. I believed my parents never understood me, never cared, but I was wrong. They understood me too well, they only did what they did to protect me. I realize that now, too late."  
  
Rory, still being held securely by Jess, stifled a sob. Luke felt his stomach lurch when Lorelai paused for breath, and Christopher let out a long sigh. He, like Luke, knew Lorelai's stoic composure was about to break.  
  
'While they were alive, I never realized what treasures I really had. I took them for granted and disrespected them. Time and again I threw their help, their way of showing love back in their faces. I was a horrible person to them, a huge disappointment for them, and while I had them here, I never said I'm sorry or thank you, so I'm saying it now. I'm sorry Mom and Dad for messing up my life so badly and thank you for loving me in spite of it. Wherever you are now, I hope you know that I love you too."  
  
Lorelai let out a long breath, it wasn't the eulogy she'd planned. It wasn't a eulogy at all, instead it was a long confession of her many errors and mistakes. It was however what she needed to say, and more importantly, it was what Richard and Emily needed to hear.  
  
Lorelai resumed her seat next to Luke and Rory. Rory reached over and squeezed her mother's hand. Lorelai met her daughter's red swollen eyes and gently smiled, her own eyes still dry. Luke held Lorelai's other hand, moving it to his lap, his long callused fingers caressing her soft flesh, soothingly as the Revered resumed his sermon and droned on.  
  
It had begun to drizzle slightly by the time the final prayer was said and the recessional hymn played. The procession moved towards the cemetery and Mr. Roth provided the mourners with regulation black umbrellas to keep them dry during the graveside service.  
  
Once again, Rory, Lorelai, Jess, and Luke gathered in the front just beyond the two caskets and the numerous arrays of flowers. The Reverend read a final scripture and said a prayer before giving Richard and Emily a final blessing.  
  
The rain picked up as Mr. Roth spoke up, "The family of Richard and Emily Gilmore request that anyone who wishes to join them in refreshments and a lite spread may do son at the Dragonfly Inn in Stars Hollow."  
  
With those final words it was done. The large group broke. Lorelai and Rory remained a few moments to receive final condolences from their friends as people returned to their cars. Eventually, Rory and Jess left to go back to the limo; the two huddled under a shared umbrella. Finally, Luke pushed Lorelai's shoulder gently before he began to move toward the waiting car.  
  
Lorelai didn't register the movement. She hadn't registered the many condolences of her friends or even Mr. Roth's invitation to the Dragonfly. All that registered was the steady drip of the rain as the thought ran through her head that she was now an orphan.  
  
Jess noticed first that Lorelai hadn't joined them at the car. He pointed that out to Rory, who began to rush out to comfort her mother whom she could tell was finally breaking. Luke held out a hand to stop her, "Let me," was all he said.  
  
Quietly, while Rory, Jess, Chris and half of Stars Hollow looked on, Luke rejoined Lorelai at the graveside. Her umbrella had fallen away when she'd pressed trembling hands to her mouth to hold in the sobs, so Luke held his umbrella over her now sopping hair, "Lorelai, come on now. It's raining, people are waiting..."  
  
Lorelai took a deep breath, "I know. I'm sorry," she hastily apologized, "We should go back." She wiped her eyes an stooped to pick up her discared umbrella. Before she could accomplish the task, her knees gave out and she fell to the ground with a sob.  
  
"Lorelai," Luke whispered tugging lightly on the sleeve of her dress, "Are you all right?"  
  
Lorelai didn't answer right away, instead she sobbed, "Luke," and covered her mouth again.  
  
Luke never felt so helpless. He'd known this was coming and prayed to be part of it, to help her, to console her, but now it was upon him and he didn't know what to do. He let his instinct take over.  
  
Luke dropped the umbrella and joined Lorelai on the wet ground. By now, everyone who remained had stopped to witness Lorelai's undoing. Luke curled his body around hers, strong arms holding her trembling body, "Lorelai, Sweetheart, you have to come away, Love. You have to come away."  
  
"No," she shouted at him, "No! I can't, I won't just turn my back on them again," she sobbed out fighting Luke's hold on her as he tried to pull her into a standing position.  
  
Rory watched along with Sookie and Jackson, Miss Patty and others as Luke wrestled with Lorelai to keep a hold on her, "Jess," Rory began, "I have to go...she needs me...I have to..."  
  
Jess wouldn't loosen his hold on Rory whom he'd been holding back to let Luke work his magic, "Give Luke some time," Jess told her, "He needs to help her as much as she needs his help."  
  
Rory sighed but obeyed Jess. She knew he was right, that Luke would be the best one to comfort her mother now.  
  
"Lorelai," Luke kept saying over and over trying to reach her, "Honey, come on now. Come to the car, where it's dry and warm. You're going to get sick, Sweetheart," he tried to reason, but nothing he said penetrated the shell of Lorelai's grief.  
  
"I have no on left now," she sobbed into the forearm that held her waist, "No one."  
  
"Lor, that's not true," Luke cooed into her sodden hair, "I'm here and Rory, and hey, I think it'll be pretty hard to get rid of Jess now," Luke tried to joke, to calm her down, at this point he'd do anything to calm her down even a little.  
  
"You don't understand," Lorelai cried shaking her head, "You don't understand. You don't understand. You don't understand," she repeated it like a mantra, totally oblivious to the cold rain or Luke's gentle touch.  
  
"Make me understand, Lorelai," he told her, "make me understand." He said gently, rocking her cradling her, ignoring the soaking rain, "I love you, Lorelai. I want to help you, Baby. Please, help me understand."  
  
Lorelai normally would have batted him for calling her the dreaded "baby" but today, she had no reaction and the term seeming strangely appropriate with crying and trembling in his arms.  
  
Lorelai let out a long low moan, "No. No, I can't. You can't," she cried, coughing so hard Luke was afraid she'd get sick.  
  
Luke tightened his hold, "All right," he admitted, "Maybe I can't understand, but I want to help you, Baby, please. Lorelai talk to me." He nearly begged her as he forced her around in his arms so his now tear filled eyes could meet hers, so he could one some basic level reach her rational mind.  
  
Lorelai fought him and refused to look in his face, "Lorelai!" he finally shouted so loud she started, her hysteria tapering off a bit when she finally met his ice blue gaze. "Lor," he said gently, "I may not understand what you're feeling, and nothing I can say will help ease your pain, I know that, but God above, I love you, Lorelai and I need for you to let me help you, Baby. It' killing me, see you like this. It rips my heart out to see you like this. Talk to me, Lorelai, please."  
  
Luke's words did nothing, they were lost on Lorelai's grief clouded mind, but his tears did something, they reached Lorelai on a deeper level, an unspoken level that spoke from his heart to her own. Finally, Lorelai found words to express her feelings to Luke, if for no other reason that to deliver him from pain, "I'm nobody's little girl anymore," she choked out finally, "Just when I wanted to be, I can't."  
  
Luke released his hold on Lorelai's arms and pulled her against his chest, "I do know about that, Love," he assured her, "I know very well about that."  
  
Luke let Lorelai cry a bit more before he used his strength to pull her to her feet. She was calmer now and easier to control, so she came up from the ground with a fight, yet she still trembled as she tried to walk.  
  
Luke saw Lorelai's steps falter as she trembled from both shock and cold. He removed his suit jacket and wrapped the material around her, then effortlessly scooped her up inot his arms, carrying her over the muddy ground to the limo.  
  
Jess, bless him, had managed to convince the onlookers to leave so only Rory, Christopher, Sookie and Jackson remained with him. When he saw Luke approaching with his precious burden, he quickly opened the limo door.  
  
"You see," Jess whispered to Rory, "he fixed it."  
  
Lorelai was clinging to Luke's neck, her arms holding so tightly it seemed she would never let go. And she didn't. The whole trip to the Dragonfly, Lorelai huddled on Luke's lap, having fallen into an uneasy sleep. She was cold, wet and shivering when they reached the Inn and Luke determined the repast should go on without Lorelai there.  
  
"Rory, you and Jess go to in and see to the guests. I'm going to bring your Mom home, let her rest, she needs it," Luke told Rory.  
  
"Luke, Mom..." Rory began, "Do you think Mom's going to be okay now?"  
  
Luke saw her worry for Lorelai and shared it. He knew Lorelai was a long time in returning to a normal life. He'd lost his mother very young and grew close to his father. When William died he felt like an orphan, sometimes he still did, sometimes he still cried for his loss and it had been years. He did understand Lorelai's pain, and as much as he wanted to heal it, he knew nothing could do that but time.  
  
"I think she'll be okay, Kiddo," he assured her as she and Jess climbed out of the limp. Luke instructed Jess to go back to Hartford with Jackson when the repast ended to get the truck and drive it home, the limo would leave him and Lorelai at the Gilmore house.  
  
Once there, Luke carried a still sleeping Lorelai back tot the bedroom and lay her on the bed. Quickly he stripped her of her wet clothing and tucked her into the bed. She stirred and burrowed into the covers, but did not wake.  
  
Luke pressed a gently kiss on her forehead and moved to leave the room. Before doing so, he quietly whispered, "I love you, Lorelai. I'm going to get you through this. I promise you that."  
  
Luke let her sleep then and huddled downstairs to watch the game. He knew there lives had irrevocably changed. He knew his Lorelai would always carry these scars with her now, and he knew they would both have to work hard to clear the knew obstacles in their lives. He also knew that they were strong together, that they loved each other, and that because of that they were equal to the task.  
  
End Funeral A 


	8. Aftermath A

"Luke!  Mom!  I'm home!" Rory called, dropping her purse by the door.

"Ssh," Luke put a finger to his lips. "Your Mom is still asleep."

"Really?" She never sleeps in the middle of the day."  Rory said, taking off her shoes.

"Yeah, but I doubt she's slept at all in the last few days.  Where's Jess?"

"Nice switch," Rory smiled.  "He went back to the diner.  He said it stopped raining so you could walk back when you were ready."

"Okay." Luke sighed. "I really should go back.  We've been open so irregularly and…" Luke shook his head, trailing off.

"Luke, practically all of Stars Hollow was at my grandparents' funeral," Rory pointed out.  "By the way, you were great out there today, with my Mom."

Luke shrugged, "She needed me.  I was there."

Rory leaned up and put her arms around Luke's neck.  That surprised him, she didn't usually show him much affection, "You're always there, Luke.  Thank you."

Luke put his arms around Rory and held her tightly, "Anything for you and your Mom, Rory.  You know that."

Their hug broke and Luke went to the kitchen, "Coffee?"

"Please," Rory agreed getting cups while Luke started the coffee and heated the kettle for tea.

"So, um, how are you handling everything?" Like asked, dipping his tea bag up and down once the water had boiled.

"Pretty good, I think," Rory replied.  "Easier every day, and easier with Jess being back."

"That's part of what I meant," Luke said.  "How are you with Jess being here?"

"Considering I called him in New York and begged him to come home, leave his job,  his apartment…"

"Whoa, whoa, Rory, I wasn't questioning your decision to do that, but I was sort of wondering…"

"Why I did it?" Rory finished.

"Well, yeah," Luke replied.

Rory stopped her pacing around the kitchen and sat down at the table. "I don't know.  I guess it started the day of Liz's wedding.  Jess showed up at my dorm and asked me to move away with him.  Of course, I said no and I'm afraid I was rather mean to him.  I think I really hurt him.  Anyway, before I told him no, he told me I could count on him.  For some reason, those words came back to me when," she paused, "it happened."

"Jess grew up in Venice Beach and he really grew up in New York," Luke commented.  "Where are you two…I mean is there a future?"

Rory shrugged, "I don't know.  I guess that's up to Jess."

The phone rang then and Rory made a dive for it so it wouldn't wake Lorelai.  "Hello," she greeted.  "Oh, hi Jess.  Yeah, hold on, he's right here." With a small frown, Rory handed the phone to Luke.

"Hello," he said, then listened. "How could we be out of bread?  Just go to Doose's and get some." A pause.  "Still?" Another pause.  "Fine, I'll be right there."

Luke put the phone back in it's cradle. "I have to go to the diner, we ran out of bread and Taylor won't let Jess in the market when he's there."

"Still banned, huh?" Rory smiled a bit.

"Yep," Luke sighed.

Rory could tell by the look on Luke's face that there was nothing he wanted to do more than stay there and wait for Lorelai to wake up, but his business had to be his first priority. Rory tried to make it easier on him. "Don't worry," she told him. "I'll take care of her."

Luke gently ran a finger down Rory's cheek. "I know you will. I'll be back as soon as I can."

With that, Luke left Rory who headed to her room to change out of her funeral clothes and to retrieve a new book.  She had a lot to consider and think about, however, so she got very little reading done.

Foremost, Jess was back in her life.  Was that a permanent thing?  Or now that the trauma passed, would he leave again?  Did she want him to stay?  Of course she did.  They had said their "I love yous" and past mistakes were long forgiven.  They had a life together now, they had a future.  Rory was sure of that.

Rory sighed; glad her part of the decision was made.  She'd talk it all over with Jess tomorrow.  She would make sure he understood her feelings and would seek his intentions.  He had been quiet on the drive home from Hartford when they had gone to get the truck.  Rory feared he was misunderstanding her messages.  She was afraid that he thought they were over again.

A blood curdling scream jolted Rory out of her musings.  Startled, it took her a moment to realize it was Lorelai that was its source or that Luke's name was the one she was crying out.

Rory jolted at her mother's third cry and ran up to the bedroom.  Lorelai was sitting up in bed, her head in her hands, and her elbows on her knees, sobbing hysterically.

"Mom," Rory called encircling her mother in her arms, "Mom, its okay. It's all right."

"No," she sobbed, "No, it's not.  It'll never be all right again.  He's gone, he's gone."

Rory rubbed her mother's back in soothing circles, "I know," she consoled.  She had felt that way too.  "I know you'll miss Grandma and Grandpa."

"No, no, no…" Lorelai cried, "Not, not them.  Luke.  I'll never see him again or hold…he'll never know…"

Lorelai's hysterics were scaring Rory.  What on earth was she talking about?  "Mom," Rory said gently, "Luke's fine.  He's just fine.  He's at the diner with Jess."

Lorelai stopped her sobbing and pulled back from Rory's embrace, anger in her blue eyes. "Don't say that!  Don't lie to me like that, about that."

"Mom, I'm not…It was a dream, just a dream…" Rory tried to pull Lorelai back into her arms.  Lorelai resisted her comfort, rolled on her side, and sobbed into what had become Luke's pillow uttering words Rory couldn't make out.

"It was only a dream, Mom," she tried again.  "I'll prove it."

Quickly Rory dialed Luke's number and prayed he would be able to come back.

Luke left Lorelai's cursing Taylor.  He should be at Lorelai's ready to console her the minute she needed it,  ready to get her coffee or make her pancakes, not on his way across town to deal with a stupid ornery old shopkeeper who had it in for his nephew.  He promised her that he would be there and now he wasn't going to be there.

On the way to the diner, Luke picked up some bread and rolls at the market, before proceeding to settle disturbed customers.  When things did calm down Jess asked, "How's Lorelai?"

"She's still asleep.  I just…she's come undone before…" Luke paused.  He wanted to say something to Jess.  "Jess, I'm proud of you."

Jess blushed. "You don't have to…"

"Yes, I do," Luke said in a whisper.  "I am very proud of the mature way you've handled yourself.  Rory really needed you."

Jess nodded. "I told her she could count on me.  And she can.  Even after I go back to…"

The ringing of the telephone cut Jess off and kept Luke from really processing what Jess had said. "Luke's," he answered in his customary bark.

"Luke, its Rory.  You have to come home." She sounded frantic.

"Why?  What happened?" Luke asked.  He knew he shouldn't have left Lorelai, he knew it.

"It's Mom.  She had some dream and she's crying.  I think the dream was about you.  She just keeps saying your name over and over," Rory blurted out.  "I can't make her stop.  I…"

"I'm on my way," Luke told Rory.  "Everything is going to be fine."  Those words seemed to calm her.  Once Rory started breathing more normally, Luke handed the phone to Jess as he left the diner without explaining to anyone.

"Hello, Rory," Jess spoke evenly.  "Luke just ran out of here.  Are you okay?"

"My Mom's really freaked out.  She just wants Luke," Rory told him.

"Does that upset you?" he asked, tucking the phone between his chin and his shoulder so he could refill some of the customers coffee cups.

"No.  I mean, I know what it's like.  I only wanted you when I heard," Rory replied.

Jess' body ached with the question, "What about now?"  He was afraid to bring that up right now though.  Rory had more important things on her mind than that issue.  They did however need to talk about some things, some things like Dean.  He'd let it go, but it was time now to address it.  He didn't want that between them after he went back to New York.  "Rory, um, I'm going to go.  There's so much to do here, but we really need to talk about some stuff.  Can you meet me at the bridge tomorrow around two o'clock?"

"Sure," Rory replied. "I'll make us a basket."

Remembering her last basket he smiled. "No thanks.  I've got that covered."

Rory was never so glad to see anyone as she was to see Luke.  Lorelai's sobs could be heard as soon as he walked in the house.  Taking the steps two at a time, he went to her.

Lorelai felt the bed shift, but instead of looking up, she held Luke's pillow closer.

"Lorelai," Luke said softly, stroking her soft hair.  "I'm here, Lor.  I'm here."

"No," she sobbed into the pillow.  "Luke, I'm so sorry."

"Lorelai I'm…" Luke tried again, "look at me."  Gently, he touched her shoulder and forced her to turn around so her red, swollen eyes could meet his.  If she could look into his eyes, she would see he was real, he was fine, and her fears were only in her dreams. 

When they made eye contact, the wretched heartbroken sobs stopped and Lorelai sat up throwing her arms around Luke.

"Luke." She began to cry again.  "It's really you.  You're alive, you're fine…"

Luke held her close and rocked her back and forth in a soothing rhythm.  "Of course it's me.  You think I wouldn't' be here for my girl?"

Lorelai sniffed, "It was so horrible, Luke."

He ran his thumb across her cheek. "What was?"

"My dream," she said.  "I mean I guess it was a dream since you're here, but it seemed so real."

Luke kissed the top of her head, "Tell me."

Lorelai took a deep breath and sniffed, "We were in the cemetery burying my parents and after the funeral we went back to the Inn and you went to the diner and…that's when it got really horrible.  Some…someone hhi..tt and you…" She held him so tight he couldn't breathe, "I love you so much, Luke.  I can't lose you too."

"I love you, too Baby," he replied. "You'll never lose me.  I'll always be with you, Lorelai."  Luke had been saying baby a lot lately.  Lorelai hated it but when he held her like this, so small and vulnerable, it slipped off his tongue.  What bothered him was she didn't seem to notice.

"Don't leave me alone again, Luke," she begged.  "Not ever.  Promise me."

He didn't know what to say to that.  Logically he'd have to leave her sight again, but for now he told her what she needed to hear, "I promise.  Are you hungry?" Luke knew she hadn't eaten at all that day.

She yawned, suddenly exhausted.  "No."  It was small and far away sounding.  "I want to lie down again."

Luke gently helped her down and tucked her blankets around her shoulder, "You should eats soon.  You want some coffee?  A danish?"

Again, she shook her head.  "No, I just…I just want you, Luke."

"You've got me," he replied.  "But are you sure there's nothing I can do for you?"

"Um, can you hold me?" she asked quietly, seeming unsure.

Luke slipped off his shoes and slid onto the bed. "As long as you need me too."

Lorelai cuddled up next to Luke's chest.  Before she drifted off to sleep she softly whispered, "Forever then."

Luke gently ran through her hair, soothing her as best he could with his touch.  When she uttered those soft words, Luke sighed.  His Lorelai was strong, capable, and incredibly independent.  So much so that it sometimes hurt his feelings how little she needed him.  The Lorelai he held now…he'd have to wait and see.  Until then, until an answer came, he'd do as he was now.  He'd hold her, love her, and if she needed him to, he'd shelter her.  That after all, was what he did when he loved someone and he could never love anyone more than his Lorelai.


	9. Aftermath B

The next afternoon Rory waited at the bridge for Jess to arrive. It was all ready ten past two. He was late, but the diner was shorthanded so she wouldn't worry. Anyway, the new Jess wasn't the type to stand her up.

Jess had been helping out so much since here grandparents' deaths. He took over at the diner when Luke was needed at home. He kept her up as best he could. He even got over his fear of speaking in front of crowds to read her grandfather's eulogy when she was too overcome to finish the tribute. He was showing the world the man she always knew he was.

Rory sat lost in thoughts about Jess. He'd become such a wonderful, mature man in only a few short months. She loved him like that. Who was she kidding? She loved him period.

"Penny for them?" Jess greeted sitting down beside Rory. "You were a million miles away."

"I'm sorry. I have a lot on my mind," Rory said. "You're late."

"I know. I had to give Caesar and Lane breaks first," Jess replied. "How's your Mom?"

Rory shook her head. "Not good. I don't think she let Luke out of her sight long enough to go to the bathroom last night."

"Luke can handle it. He wants to help her," Jess assured Rory. "But the diner…"

"Jess, I go back to school on Monday, but if you need help at the diner my classes are usually done by three o'clock. I could commute back here and help out for a few days. I was probably going to do that anyway," Rory told him.

"I'll see," said Jess. "Maybe your Mom will be feeling better by then."

"I hope so. It's so…she's not usually like that," Rory said. "I mean yeah, she can definitely lose it, but they weren't even that close."

Jess sighed, 'Maybe…never mind. You want to eat?"

"I never say no to a Jess burger," Rory smiled.

Jess unpacked their lunch and he and Rory ate in silence. He wanted to address what he'd overheard the night of the wake, between her and Dean. She wanted to address her feelings for him and ensure he was here to stay.

Rory broke the silence. "Jess, I want you to know…to realize how much it meant to me to have you here during all of this."

"I know, Rory," Jess replied. "I told you that you could count on me now. You can, even after I got back to New York. I will be here for you."

"New York? I thought…I should have realized. You hate Stars Hollow. You'd never want to stay here." Rory tried to sound indifferent and fight her tears.

"Rory…"Jess began. "Don't be upset. I know we shared a lot this week. I told you how I feel about you. I told you that I love you and that isn't going to change. I've loved you since that day on the street when I returned the book that I "borrowed." He made the quotes with his fingers.

"Then why? If you love me and I love you why are you leaving?" Rory asked, confused.

"Because…Rory, I know." Jess said.

"You know?" She repeated, confused.

"I know. I heard you and Dean talking at the funeral home Thursday. I didn't want to say anything then, but Rory," Jess sighed. "I can't do this again. I can't compete with him and lose again. I can't."

"You don't have to compete with him. It's not him that I want and after that night, I knew that. I knew once and for all that after we… after he promised so many things and reneged on them, I knew that I could never love him the…I could never…" Rory stopped for breath.

"What, Rory? Spit it out, just say it," Jess implored her.

"I knew that I could never love him the way that I love you. I knew what I did was so wrong, but…" Rory trailed off and studied the old wood of the bridge.

Jess reached out with a long finger and lifted her chin. "Rory, why didn't you say anything to me about it? I mean, we've done so much talking this week, so much soul searching. Why did you leave that part out?"

It was true. They had done a lot of talking. They had talked about their lives as they were not. She had talked about Yale and Paris, about how it was to live with Luke, and about how much she regretted rejecting Jess that day. He had talked about his job as a messenger, what he was really using that money for, his life in the New York flat with seven other guys. He had told her about his life, his exploits, and the way he couldn't touch or kiss another woman with uttering her name. So why had she left out the fact she slept with Dean. With Jess' sordid past, he wouldn't rebuke her for it.

Rory's throat close and tears began to fall from her eyes, "Because I was ashamed," she admitted. "I thought I really loved him. I thought he loved me and that he would do all the things he said he'd do. But he didn't. I didn't want you to know what an idiot I'd been or that I'd been with someone else's husband."

She said that last word on a sob and Jess pulled her into his arms. He sat with her face buried in his chest and rocked her back and forth. "Rory, you screwed up. It's okay to screw up. I'm the king of doing that. You don't have to feel bad about it or embarrassed by it. But you should have told me Rory; especially since we were telling each other so much."

Rory pulled out of his embrace, "I'm sorry, Jess. I know that I…"

Rory never got to finish her sentence. Jess' lips were on hers kissing her with passion, love, and forgiveness. "You know, they say you never forget the first time you have sex," he told her.

"I know," she whispered, leaning in for another kiss.

"You know what else I be we won't forget?" Jess asked her, teasing her with little pecks between his words.

"What?" she asked, nearly breathless with the incredible feelings running through her.

"The first time we make love. I've been with women Rory, but I've never made love. I want to make love to you. I want the first time I give that much to someone…I want it to be you." Jess had never said so much before. It was hard to imagine him romantic like that. But this was the way of their very special bond. He could always say what she needed to hear, even if he'd once thought words like that were stupid.

"Jess, I don't know if I'm…"

Jess cut her off with a shake of his head. "Not now, Rory. Not for a long time maybe. When we're ready, when we're both ready, that's when it will happen."

Rory hugged Jess fiercely and kissed his on the mouth. "So you're not going back to New York?" she asked.

Jess sighed. "I have to go back temporarily to see what credits I can transfer to Southern Connecticut State, but no, I want to be near you and if that means Stars Hollow…"

Rory shrieked with joy and hugged him again. After a minute, it dawned on her what he'd said about transferring credits. "Jess are you enrolled in college?"

Jess blushed and nodded, "Yep. I figured I had to do something with my life. I'm taking a bunch of psychology courses. I want to…I want to do what Uncle Luke did for me only without the water torture."

Rory laughed, "So you'll be Dr. Jess then huh?"

"Don't mock it. Look at that Phil guy, and I think I'm much better looking."

Rory laughed again and she and Jess finished their lunch and walked back to the diner. They were greeted by a frazzled Lane. "Thank God you're back. I'm going crazy here. When's Luke coming back?"

Rory sighed. That meant things weren't better at home yet. "I better go check on my Mom. Come over later okay?" she asked Jess.

"Sure, I'm closing at eight. See you then."

Rory left the diner and darted home as fast as possible. She walked in to find the the downstairs was still empty. Her mother had probably been in bed the entire day. She heard Luke's voice, speaking gently to Lorelai. She couldn't make out his words and she didn't want to intrude. Luke was handling the situation nicely.

Truth be told, Luke wasn't handling the situation at all. He couldn't stand seeing Lorelai like this. And he had the diner to run. She was so crippled by her fears that he couldn't leave her alone in the room with constantly talking to her so that she knew he was okay. If she didn't snap out of this in a few days, he'd have to call the doctor.

"Lorelai," Luke coaxed. "Come on, just eat a little bit of the muffin. It's chocolate fudge. Your favorite."

Lorelai didn't respond to him, she just lay in the bed, covers to her chin. Luke kept trying.

"Lor, I know what you're going through is really hard, but you can't just lie down and die, Babe. You have to go on. You have to move on."

"I can go on from this?" She says it like a question.

"Yeah, Lorelai. You can move on from anything. It'll hurt, but I'll be here and Rory." He smoothed back her hair.

"What if something like…like my parents…happened to you. Could I move on then?" She asked looking him in the eye for the first time.

"Sure. It would take while, but sure you could." Luke told her gently and prayed he'd said the right thing. "But nothing is going to happen to me Lorelai. Nothing at all."

"Nothing," she whispered into the blanket.

"That's right," Luke told her. "Nothing."

Lorelai seemed to finally accept that assurance so Luke moved on to the next phase of his plan. Of course, this was a plan he was making up as he went along.

"So, do you think that tomorrow you could sleep in a bit while I go to the diner then…"

"No!" Lorelai's reply was swift and sharp. "No, no, no…you promised not to leave me alone. You promised, Luke."

Luke sighed and held her close as she started crying once again, "I know, Baby. I know."


	10. The Jess Solution A

Things went on that way for a week. Luke, by Wednesday, managed to coax Lorelai out of the bedroom, but he still couldn't convince her to eat more than the smallest amount of food, and under no circumstances would she let him out of her sight for five minutes. She couldn't go on like this, this path was too destructive, yet he didn't know what he should do.

By Friday, Luke was fed up. He loved Lorelai and he was glad that she wanted him to support her and that she needed him to love her. He was glad that she loved him that much, and truth be told he'd be devastated if something happened to her, so he understood, that at this time in her life she needed to be assured that nothing would happen to him or to Rory.

Still, this path was dangerous and he had to do something to get her over it. He'd tried love, he'd tried coaxing, and he'd tried making deals, so far, nothing worked. It was time to call in the big guns. It was time to consult with Rory and Jess.

On Friday night, after a large pizza with everything for Lorelai, Rory, and Jess and a deluxe green salad for Luke, Lorelai went upstairs to take a shower. She was okay now when everyone was home. She could go to the next room without having a panic attack or breaking down in sobs, but she still couldn't bear to have Luke or Rory out of her sight or at least her earshot.

Once Luke heard the shower in the upstairs bathroom turn on, he stopped doing the dishes and went into the kitchen to talk to Jess and Rory.

"Rory. Jess. I need to talk to you," Luke said, his face serious.

Rory sat up a bit straighter and shook herself out of Jess' embrace, "What up, Luke?"

"Rory, it'll be a week tomorrow since…and you're Mom isn't getting any better. She's getting worse actually. I just don't know what to do anymore and I was wondering if you have any ideas?"

"Luke, I know taking care of Mom has been hard for you…"

"That's not it Rory. I love your mother, I want to take care of her, but the woman up there in the shower is not the woman that I love," Luke pointed out. "And she's not the woman that raised you either."

Rory felt her throat close up with emotion. The wounds of losing both her grandparents were still fresh and the stress of her mother, her rock solid mother, falling to pieces was getting to her. Jess sensed her sudden sadness and put his arm around her. "I know that," Rory managed. "How do we get her back?"

"I don't know, Kid. I've done everything I know to do. I've held her and reassured her but nothing seems to take. I'm at my wits end and I don't know what to do anymore."

Jess listened to Luke go through the litany of things that he had done to try and help Lorelai. He had played right into her delusions. If he stayed with her, there was no way he could prove to her with certainty that going out into the world was not any more dangerous than it had been before the accident. The accident had just made it hit closer to home. Jess knew of a way, he knew of a way that had once worked on his friends Martin's mother when his father died. Tough love, no more of this gentle cuddling and coddling that Luke was doing.

"I think I have an idea," Jess said quietly. "And I'm pretty sure it will work. I'm also pretty sure neither one of you is going to like it."

Rory looked up at him, "Whatever it is it has to be better than going on like this."

"What is it, Jess?" Luke asked, not surprised that he would have an idea. He'd seen a lot in New York.

"It's going to be hard on you," Jess told him. "It's going to be hard on both of you. What you're doing now, trying to accommodate Lorelai, trying to make her feel secure is nice and sweet, but obviously it's not working."

"What else do you want me to do? I can't just leave her, I mean she…"

Jess cut Luke off. You have to leave her Luke. You have to leave her to me. She has to see that you can go out to the diner or to the store and come back fine. You too, Rory. This isn't going to be easy on either of you. You both love her, and you're both too close to do what she needs right now. You are going to have to trust me on this. I've seen it work."

"What do you want us to do, Jess?" Luke asked.

"I want you, Uncle Luke, to go to the diner tomorrow to open up. Take Rory with you," Jess instructed.

"No," Luke shook his head to veto the idea. "I can't do that to her. I can't leave her here by herself. I don't know what she'd do. Sometimes she wakes up and I swear Jess she doesn't know if things were dreams or reality."

"She won't be alone, Luke. I'll be here with her. You two are two close to this. What Lorelai needs is a swift kick in the ass and I'm just the person to give it to her," Jess declared rising from his seat on the couch. "I know this is hurting you, Uncle Luke, and I know its murder on Rory. She's hurting too and she needs her mother. Lorelai and I are not friends, but I think I can get her to listen to me. Just give me one chance. If it doesn't work, we'll think of something else."

Luke thought for a minute. He read about what Jess was describing. Tough love, they called it. He only wondered how his nephew who less than a year ago couldn't stand the sight of him came to know about such a thing and how he came to be so mature.

"How do you know about this Jess?" Luke asked.

"My friend Martin lost his Dad and his mom really flipped out," Jess explained. "They had to do something to snap her out of it and the lovey crap was not working so they tried a sterner approach. Snapped her right out of it, let me tell you," Jess declared.

Rory twirled her hair around on her finger, "I don't know, Jess. I mean, what if it makes her even worse?"

"Did your way make her any better?" Jess countered. "Rory, you have to trust me on this. Please."

Rory slowly nodded her head. She did trust Jess. She knew he'd never do anything to hurt her and to hurt Lorelai was by extension hurting her. "All right, Jess. It's okay with me if it's okay with Luke."

"Uncle Luke?" Jess waited for Luke's answer.

"How many self help books did you read in New York Jess?" Luke asked.

"Self help books?" Rory looked at him curiously. "Did you read self help books?"

"One self help book and I never live it down," Jess rolled his eyes. "No, but I started school again and I talked to the counselor there. She really helped me see that all I had to do to get…" He paused and looked at Rory. "All I had to do to get what I wanted was to grow up and act like a person instead of an ass whole. Combine that with a bunch of entry level psych courses and here I am. When you called me, that's when I saw a chance to put that into action. The book was me at your dorm that night; this…this is experience and maybe it's just…this is our last shot."

Luke sighed. He trusted Jess. The kid was nothing if not smart and nothing he'd tried had worked. Luke sighed. "All right. I suppose you can give it a try."

It was decided that Jess would stay over the house that night on the couch. Luke would of course stay up with Lorelai in her room and Rory would stay in hers.

"Now, I'll probably be awake around five a.m. I'll wake you after I get done showering," Luke told Rory and Jess.

"Won't the shower wake Lorelai?" Jess asked.

"Nope," said Rory. "A marching band running through here wouldn't wake her up."

"It's settled then. No one says anything. Business as usual tonight," Luke recapped.

"No," Jess interjected. "When she wakes up tonight, comfort her, but don't let her cling. Comfort her, reassure her, and tell her to go back to sleep. Don't hang onto her and coddle her…"

"I always sleep with my arms around her," Luke interjected.

"Way more information that I needed," Jess replied. "Just don't over kill it, okay."

Luke nodded and heard Lorelai's voice call from the bedroom. "Luke? Luke, where are you?"

"That's me. I better get to bed. It'll be an early day tomorrow," Luke said taking his leave. "You both best get to bed too. Five will be here before you know it."

Luke went upstairs to Lorelai and Rory could hear her mother crying softly. She knew that it would kill Luke to leave tomorrow and not know how she would take his absence. Rory did trust Jess though. She trusted him with her heart, her body, and she'd trust him with her mother. If he couldn't help her, he would say so. But if he could, things could finally start to return to normal.

Rory and Jess watched TV for another hour, holding each other, before she went to bed. Jess kissed her on the lips gentle and whispered, "I love you," before he sent her off to bed.

Upstairs, Luke lay awake with Lorelai in his arms. He didn't mention the plan to Lorelai when they went to bed and only part of it was because Jess said he shouldn't. The other part was because he knew that if Lorelai started to cry and asked him to stay with her; he wouldn't be able to deny her.

Luke held Lorelai closer that night than he even had. He prayed to every being he'd ever heard of, God, Jesus, every Saint and every prophet that Jess' plan worked. He also thanked every entity for the precious angel in his arms.

Luke could feel Lorelai stirring in her sleep. He knew what was coming. It had come every night, two or three times, since the day of her parents' funerals. He hated seeing her like that. It had to end.

Luke smoothed Lorelai's hair as she began to sob in her sleep. Soon she'd wake up screaming his name. It was usually his name anyway. Sometimes it was Rory, and even once, it was Jess, but usually it was his name she cried out. He tried to remember what Jess said. Tough love. No coddling or cradling, tough love.

_Lorelai walked to the diner as she had done every day for nearly fifteen years. It was early yet, but Luke had promised to close up early and take her to Gerrino's for dinner. It was their first anniversary and Luke had agreed to take her there to celebrate. He'd even agreed to wear a neck tie. That would be his gift to her. She only hoped he'd love her gift to him. She couldn't keep from putting a hand on her stomach as she continued to the diner._

_Lorelai could sense something was wrong before she even turned down the street. She could see a crowd of people around the front of the diner, police cars, a fire engine and an ambulance were all parked haphazardly around the street._

_"Luke! No!" she cried as she broke into a run. She was too late. She saw the medics lifting the blood soaked sheet that was covering Luke's broken body over his face. He was gone. She'd lost him. She had no one now._

"Luke! Luke!" Lorelai cried out sitting up in bed.

Luke sat up next to her and gently touched her shoulder. "I'm here, Lorelai. You're okay."

"OH, it was so real," she sighed. "It was only a dream," she said and looked to him for confirmation. "Or is this a dream?"

Luke gently kissed her forehead, "No, this is real, Lorelai. I'm here and you're safe."

Lorelai reached for him, "Let me…"

Luke let her hold him for a moment. She was crying and while her tears tore him up he tried to remember what Jess had said. _"Comfort her, and then set her on her own. Set your limits and don't blur the line." _Where had he heard that before? Lorelai. Lorelai on Jess.

Luke rubbed Lorelai's back a minute then kissed her forehead and pulled away. "It's okay. Lie back down."

"Luke, I…" Lorelai began.

"Lorelai, it's all right. Now lie down and go to sleep. I'm tired and I need to go to sleep." Luke cut her off.

"I keep having such dreams," Lorelai sighed obliging Luke by lying down. She burrowed close to his chest and he let her nuzzle. That always happened, even before so he allowed the gesture.

"Go to sleep," Luke repeated before kissing her cheek and finally finding a fitful sleep for himself.


	11. The Jess Solution B

Luke slipped out of bed at a little after five and quickly woke Rory.

"Come on, Kid," he said. "We've got to get out of here before your Mom gets up."

"There is coffee in this deal, right Luke?" Rory grumbled, rolling out of bed.

"I'm not stupid," Luke replied. "I'd never wake up a Gilmore without providing coffee. Come on now."

While Rory changed Luke went out to the living room to wake Jess. "Jess, Rory and I will be leaving soon. Are you sure you can do this?"

"No," Jess admitted. "But I'm sure it's the best chance we've got."

"If you can't handle it…"

"If I can't handle it I'll call you," Jess assured him before Luke finished the thought.

Rory came out of her room dressed in jeans and a maroon sweater. Jess had just gotten up and moved to meet her halfway between the living room and the staircase.

"Good morning, Beautiful." He greeted with a strong hug.

Jess raised a hand and stroked her hair, "It's going to be all right. I promise."

"I know, Jess. I trust you," Rory said. "And I love you."

"I love you too," Jess told her. "Now get out of here before Lorelai wakes up."

Luke and Rory left the house for the diner while Jess made himself some tea and waited for Lorelai to wake up. He was nervous about this. He wasn't sure if he could really help Lorelai, but he was certain he had to try.

About eight o'clock it started. Jess could hear Lorelai murmuring in her sleep. Jess knew what was coming and he felt the tension mounting in the rooms his heart beating harder with anticipation and dread.

"Luke?" he heard the muffled name from Lorelai's room. "Luke! Rory!"

"Show time," Jess grumbled to himself and rose up off the couch.

Lorelai's sobs were intensifying as Jess climbed the stairs and entered the room.

"Lorelai," he said gently. "Lorelai wake up. It's Jess."

Lorelai sat up in bed with a start. "Jess?"

"Yeah, it's me." Jess replied sitting on the side of the bed.

"Where's Luke and Rory? I need Luke, Jess," Lorelai cried and looked scared.

"Luke's at the diner, Lorelai. He'll be back later," Jess kept his voice matter of fact.

"No. No, he's not. No, he's not. He's oh…Jess he's Lorelai was starting to panic. She had the dream again about losing Luke. When she woke up from that dream to Luke's soft voice, gentle touch and calm reassurances she could disspell her fears. He could always do that.

"Yes, he is, Lorelai," Jess kept his voice firm. "He's at the diner with Rory."

"Don't lie to me!" Lorelai cried. "I deserve the truth. I can take it."

"That is the truth," Jess countered. "Luke is at the diner, so is Rory. It was a dream about Luke, that's all it was. You know that."

"He'll never know. No one will ever know now," Lorelai cried. "I should have done…Luke," she sobbed rolling under the sheets.

Jess resolved to try tenderness one more times, so he settled on the bed and stroked Lorelai's hair. "Lorelai, Luke is not gone. He's here at his diner waiting for you. He misses you. Rory misses you. They love you, Lorelai.

Lorelai ignored him until he spoke that last sentence. That sparked anger in her. How dare Jess claim Luke or Rory's love when they would leave her all alone? "Oh they do?" Lorelai challenged. "Then where are they? Why did they leave me all alone? Why?" Lorelai curled under the covers.

At that action all of Jess' restraint was washed away. He rose off the bed and pulled Lorelai's cover off of her.

"Jess, give those back," Lorelai said with more force than any words she'd spoken in days.

"Nope. Time to get up," Jess said flatly. "No more games, it's time to face reality again."

"I don't want to face it. I can't face it," Lorelai cried. "Not without Luke and Rory." Tears threatened to spill over.

"You didn't lose Luke and Rory, Lorelai," Jess insisted. "You lost your parents. That's a tough loss, and no one should have to face it, but everyone does, Lorelai. Everyone does," Jess paused for breath. "You can deal with it in a couple of ways. You can lay down and let it kill you or you can deal with it and move on. You have to move on, Lorelai. You have to. You're not the only one who lost someone. Rory lost them too, but it was worse for her, because she lost you too. And Luke, Luke can't even stand to be near you anymore, it hurts him so badly to see you hurting like this. He can't stand to watch it anymore.

"You haven't lost Luke yet, but this," Jess motioned to Lorelai's disheveled bed and gaunt unkempt appearance, "is killing him. You've got to pull out of this Lorelai. Rory needs you to, Luke needs you too. Think about them, Lorelai. Think about what they need. You have to move on."

Lorelai met Jess' eyes, hers coherent and bright with tears, "I don't know if I can," she whispered.

"Of course you can," Jess' tone softened. "It's what you've always done. You put Rory first, Luke first, you can go one from this. You can put the ahead again." Jess moved closer and held Lorelai's shoulders, his eyes meeting hers. "You raised a daughter, entirely on your own, and she's terrific. She is the best woman, the woman I love, and she's who she is because of what you taught her. You can do this, Lorelai, and you don't have to do it alone. We'll help you, we'll be there for you, but you have to take that first step," Jess encouraged feeling emotions and finding words he never knew he would be able to find. It was like it was someone else who was speaking.

Compelled by pure instinct, Jess held out his hand. "Come on, Lorelai. Take it, take that step. Lorelai, come on."

"Why should I trust you?" Lorelai asked. "How do I know you aren't a dream?"

"You don't," Jess replied. "But there's only one way to find out. Take the step, Lorelai. Take the step and see for yourself."

Lorelai contemplated Jess' words again. There was only one way to find out, though, and something about the open vulnerable look in Jess's eyes spoke to her. Jess was many things, but she sensed he wouldn't like to her. Not about this.

Tentatively, Lorelai took the hand Jess offered and got out of bed. Awkwardly she hugged him, "I have some apologies to make don't I?"

Jess shook his head. "It was understood, Lorelai. It was hard on them. They both love you so much."

"And you love them, don't you?" Lorelai asked.

"I do. I didn't realize how much until it happened. It sucks, but it put things in perspective, doesn't it?" Jess asked.

"Paved Paradise," Lorelai mumbled. "You don't know what you've got till it's gone. I learned that the hard way."

"Well, not everything you loved is gone. Two people who loved you very much are at the diner right now. Come on, go get dressed."

Luke worried the entire morning. It was all read ten and Jess had not called nor had he and Lorelai arrived at the diner. What was going on back at the house?

Miss Patty and Babette were glad to see Luke back at the diner.

"Not that Jess wasn't a darling, Luke," Miss Patty assured him, "but seeing you here means Lorelai is feeling better."

Luke frowned and Babette asked, "Well isn't she, Sugar. Feeling better?"

"Mom's not really feeling better, Babette," Rory said. "Jess is trying a different approach."

"She still won't come out?" Taylor asked. "And you're letting Jess stay with her?"

"What else do you want us to do?" Rory quickly countered. Luke hated personal probing questions.

No one said anything more about it, but Rory could see that everyone in their own way was worried about her Mom. They didn't have the same faith in Jess she had. Rory knew this new Jess and trusted him completely. She just prayed Lorelai did.

Jess didn't call Luke after he had convinced Lorelai to get up and out, instead he decided their mutual arrival at the diner wuld be a nice surprise.

Lorelai took her time in the shower, making sure she'd look her best for Luke. She had been crazy locking him out then forcefully keeping him in. She knew she'd owed him an apology or at least an explanation. It wouldn't hurt to look her best while they struggled with that.

Jess and Lorelai walked to the diner together. She hadn't been afraid to let Luke go out. Lorelai was a passionate person. She was usually strong, smart, ambitious and dedicated. When she did something, it was all or nothing. If she opened an Inn, it would be as she wanted or not at all. When she loved it was with her entire heart, or not at all. With her their was no halfway. That was extremely precious.

Jess thanked God for his good fortune and remembered something his Grandpa Mariano said to him, "Sometimes out of the saddest or darkest moment comes the most spectacular light."

That was so true. Emily and Richard Gilmore's sudden deaths were sad indeed, but what came out of them was so very rare and precious.

Jess lagged behind as he and Lorelai approached Luke's Diner. This would be a moment to be remembered, Lorelai's return to Luke's side, no as the shell she'd been the last two weeks but as the woman he fell in love with or at least as someone very much like her.

Luke heard the bell over the door jingle and sucked in a breath. Every time that bell rang or the phone rang he'd jump, expecting it to be Jess calling him home, but praying it was Lorelai all the same.

Luke saw her, skin free of make up, hair scrubbed clean and pulled up the way he liked it. Her outfit was simple, another one of his favorites, blue jeans and a berry colored top with a jean jacket.

She stood just inside the door, Jess a few feet behind her. She looked a bit lost, uncertain, and Luke could see Patty and Babette were ready to descend on her.

"Lorelai," he began and started for her. Before he could finish speaking Lorelai wrapped her arms around him and hung on. This time though it was not out of the fearful desperation as it had been was over the past few weeks, but truly out of love and affection. Luke returned her gesture fervently moving his hand up and down her back in a rare display of public affection.

"I'm sorry," Lorelai whispered near his ear.

The apology confused Luke and he replied over the clapping and whistling of the diner's patron, "Jess, help Rory." He then led Lorelai upstairs.

Rory had been in the kitchen getting orders when Lorelai came in, and she was surprised to see Jess.

"Where's my Mom? Is everything all right?" Rory finally let her worry surface.

Jess gave her a quick hug. "It's all right. Your Mom's upstairs with Luke. He told me to help you out."

Rory smiled and handed him two tuna melts, "Table seven."

When Luke got Lorelai upstairs, she immediately moved to hold him again. "I'm so sorry, Luke. Really," she repeated.

"Sorry for what?" Luke asked confused.

"For everything," Lorelai replied. "I'm sorry for being so crazy after the accident, for shutting you out and being mean to you. I'm sorry for losing it the way I did at the cemetery and afterwards. I'm so sorry for hurting you and suffocating you. Can you ever forgive me?" she finally asked, all the while staying in his arms.

Luke was silent then moved to sit on the edge of his bed. "I was hurt at first, Lorelai. I'll admit that, but…I really did understand. We've had such an open relationship for so long, since you came to Stars Hollow, we're comfortable with each other." He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "You don't have to be strong with me, in front of each other we both can let go and I guess, when I first happened you didn't really feel you could."

Lorelai nodded, "And when I finally could I knew you'd be there. I realized then how much I take for granted I never said or did some of the things I wanted to with my parents and when I thought about you, us…I didn't want to repeat that mistake." Her voice fell off and she moved to join Luke on the edge of the bed. He kissed her and pulled her into his lap.

"I know your feelings, Lorelai. I truly do," Luke replied. "I know you love me or you'd never have agreed to marry me. You have nothing to worry about or be sorry for. I love you and I think you're incredible." Luke smiled and kissed her.

"Good," Lorelai replied. "Because I need coffee."

From that moment on things returned to normal around Stars Hollow. Lorelai was seen at Luke's every day and the couple's wedding plans began to take shape again. Lorelai still had times when she missed her parents and regretted not settling more with them before the accident happened, but all in all she was recovering well.

Rory returned to Yale right after Lorelai recovered from her intense but thank to Jess short lived depression. Jess transferred his credits to Southern Connecticut State and he and Rory saw each other every weekend and on Wednesday nights. Rory kept her journalism major, but added on some intense Literature classes. Jess majored in psychology realizing when he decided to be a nice guy, he really could help people. In that, it seemed Jess' grandfather's words were true. Out of Emily and Richard's tragic deaths, came a beautiful light.

A/N: There will be an epilogue.


	12. Epilouge

Before anyone realized it, five years had gone by.

Luke and Lorelai married in the spring after Emily and Richard's death. Almost one year exactly from their first official kiss. Lorelai was happy that day, but felt a pang of regret that her parents were not there to share it with her.

Luke gently reminded her both sets of parents, his and hers were present in spirit and the couple agreed to set up photographs of their parents at the ceremony.

There wasn't a dry eye in the house when Lorelai and Luke, Stars Hollow's own "royal couple" said their vows and finally became sealed in matrimony.

Lorelai smiled at the raindrops that fell even so slightly a she and Luke danced, and Lane appropriately changed the music from Luke and Lorelai's song, Reflecting Light to a sweet country turn, Holes in the Floor of Heaven.

Three years later, Lorelai still had the tune in memorized and she often hummed it to her baby boy Evan once he was born. Sometimes Luke would get his guitar out and pick along. Emily and Richard as well as Luke's parents were very much apart of young Evan's life. Lorelai wouldn't have it any other way.

As for Rory and Jess, they were still pulling strong. Jess proposed not long after Evan was born but the couple decided on a long engagement. They were married in August after Rory and Jess graduated. Rory's two year old brother serving as ring bearer. He nearly stole the show away from the happy couple.

Rory started working as a political correspondent for the Hartford Herald. It wasn't her dream job, but it turned out to be because it let her be with Jess.

Jess graduated with honors from Southern Connecticut State with a psychology degree. He planned to get his Masters and turn Richard and Emily's old house into the Gilmore Foundation Respite for Troubled Teens. The dream was a long way off, but it was within his reach.

It seemed they all got what the dreamt of. Luke got Lorelai, Lorelai got Luke and her inn, Rory got Jess and her job as a reporter and Jess got Rory and so much more.

Now as he stood beside Rory's hospital bed and watched his wife nurse their new son, Lucas Richard Mariano he couldn't help but send up a prayer of thanks to not only God but to Emily and Richard, for their passing made this all possible and Jess was sense wherever they were, they were glad their paved paradise yielded so much more than a parking lot.

_Holes in the Floor of Heaven lyrics _

_One day shy of eight years old,  
When grandma passed away.  
I was a broken hearted little boy,  
Blowing out that birthday cake.  
How I cried when the sky let go,  
With a cold lonesome rain.  
My mom smiled, said: "Don't be sad child.  
"Grandma's watching you today." "'Cos there's holes in the floor of Heaven,  
"And her tears are pouring down.  
"That's how you know she's watching,  
"Wishing she could be here now.  
"An' sometimes if you're lonely,  
"Just remember she can see.  
"There's holes in the floor of Heaven  
"And she's watching over you and me." Seasons come and seasons go,  
Nothing stays the same.  
I grew up, fell in love,  
Met a girl who took my name.  
Year by year, we made a life,  
In this sleepy little town.  
I thought we'd grow old together,  
Lord, I sure do miss her now. But there's holes in the floor of Heaven,  
And her tears are pouring down.  
That's how I know she's watching,  
Wishing she could be here now.  
An' sometimes when I'm lonely,  
I remember she can see.  
There's holes in the floor of Heaven,  
And she's watching over you and me. Well my little girl is 23,  
I walk her down the aisle.  
It's a shame her Mom can't be here now,  
To see her lovely smile.  
They throw the rice, I catch her eye,  
As the rain starts coming down.  
She takes my hand; says: "Daddy don't be sad,  
'Cos I know Mama's watching now." "And there's holes in the floor of Heaven  
"And her tears are pouring down.  
"That's how you know she's watching,  
"Wishing she could be here now.  
"An' sometimes when I'm lonely,  
"I just remember she can see.  
"Yes, there's holes in the floor of Heaven,  
"And she's watching over you and me." Watching over you and me. Watching over you and me. Watching over you and me._


End file.
